day 223 - "even the SOUND of bacon frying is like applause!"

[magisperica]

Who: Skyla and you!
Open: Open
When: Day 223
Where: All over the Bastion
What: MEAT SURVEY aka "why stop at donut trees when you could have BACON CROPS"
Format: Started with prose, will match with whatever you want to use
Warnings: Skyla's pottymouth, will edit if anything comes up.

So. So.

If you're out and about around the Bastion today, you'll find yourself pulled aside by Skyla, no matter how busy you may be. As shocking as it is that she's actually making an effort to interact with everyone, even more puzzling is the little notepad she has with her, that appears to be occupied by some kind of meat-centric tally chart.

She'll kind of glare for a moment, like she's irritated at being drawn into a conversation (despite the fact that she's the one who started this in the first place) before saying, in a completely casual voice;

"What's your favourite kind of meat? If you're a vegan or some shit, just pick the one that starts with your favourite letter of the alphabet."

No, this isn't an innuendo and yes, you are going to have to ask for context.

Comments

[doctor_dragoon]

The tall boy she stops outside the distillery does indeed look to be rather confused, as does the otter-like Pokemon trailing at his heels. The two of them blink at Skyla for a moment, before the boy puts on an awkward smile and responds.

"Ah... excuse me?"

Did this girl really just randomly ask him about meat?

[magisperica]

Tch.

Everything from the little noise she makes to the way she's drumming her pen against her pad just screams impatience and she looks fairly annoyed at having to repeat herself. Why can't people just answer the question and then request context?

"I said 'what's your favourite kind of meat?'. It's not twenty fucking questions, you just gotta answer and then I'll leave you alone."

[doctor_dragoon]

It's kind of a weird question, Skyla. Also, you're being pretty rude. That awkward smile quickly melts into a frown, some irritation of his own showing on is face.

"Sashimi. You know, you'd probably get your answers faster if you were a little more polite."

[magisperica]

"Sashi--"

If she registers the rebuke or even hears it, she doesn't react, looking from her notebook, up to him and then back to her notebook.

"What the hell is sashimi? Is it like... no wait, it's fish, isn't it? Like, a cut of fish or something?"

[bulletofhope]

. . . uh, favorite meat...?

[ Skyla, why are you asking him this right now. Naegi just looks more confused if anything at both her choice of conversation starter and her previous glare. ]

... what's this about?

[magisperica]

...

[ DEADPAN STARE. ]

How fucking short term is your memory, kid?

[bulletofhope]

... oh. Oh...! Right...

[ Naegi blinks, at first in confusion, but then he remembers their previous conversation and it hits him like a brick to the face.

So that's what this is all about, huh...? He pauses for a moment in thought before answering her question. ]

Chicken, for the most part. Beef, as well... they're both good!

[amphibian]

Skyla! Hi— [wait wait wait what's this about meat?]

Eh, eh? Just one? It depends how it's cooked, doesn't it? Nothing beats tonkotsu with some extra pork fat, but there's so much you can do with different kinds of beef...

[magisperica]

... wait, shit, I can't tally all that, hold on--

[ ??? WAS THAT A VOTE FOR PORK OR FOR BEEF OR ]

Yeah, just one-- otherwise it'll throw off the count or whatever.

... unless I do a second round. Shit, that might not be a bad idea... Meat orchard...

[ SKYLA NO ]

[amphibian]

...and if something's not hearty enough, it's real easy to add some chicken. You get some good seasoning on there, you know? Like—'meat orchard'? [WHAT KIND OF COMBINATION OF WORDS IS THAT] What's this for, anyway?

[dragonsorcsandwolves]

Rob both tenses and starts slightly as Skyla touches him; his mind had been elsewhere while he'd been harvesting from the farm and he hadn't registered her approach. The delay before she actually says anything doesn't help either. The question is also unexpected, but it's still an improvement from the previous two points because he at least understands how to respond to it.

"Uh, bacon, though good beef is a close contender. Why? You deciding what to get the meat-making machine to churn out next?"

[magisperica]

Finally, someone who's giving her a straight answer! She smirks to herself and gives a little huff before she goes to her little notepad, scribbling down his vote before answering.

"Nah. I just got a dumbfuck idea and I decided to see how far I could go with it before someone tried stoppin' me."

She says this with a huge grin, looking fairly pleased with herself.

"Go ahead and ask me what. Seriously."

[dragonsorcsandwolves]

There's a pause before he does, because he has the feeling that he's about to hear a bad idea.

"What's your dumbfuck idea?"

[superdrowningskills]

"Vegans," he responds in his usual deadpan way.

It's a joke of course; he may never smile, but Alucard does in fact have a sense of humor.

[magisperica]

And that gets the equally deadpan response of; "Save a cow, eat a vegan?"

She... would not actually be that stunned if that was the case, though, this place is fucking weird.

"Lemme be more specific, then. Favourite meat that comes from an animal and not a human."

[superdrowningskills]

"Without someone around to tend to it, the cow would inevitably fall prey to any large predator that happened upon it and deemed it an easy target. To creatures of the night that have not chosen a substitute form of prey as I have, vegans would be regarded much the same way."

At least that's the only conclusion he can draw from what little he's been told of the average modern vegan.

The dhampire pauses a moment to think about his answer to the question. Pecker meat is probably not worth mentioning; presumably this is intended for general human consumption and Pecker is a bit of an acquired taste. The mammoths are already here, thus covering that cross-section of meat. Perhaps something from home...?

"...Perhaps mutton or venison."

[unwrittenformula]

Well that was unexpected. Being pulled aside while carrying several Pokemon (a Zoura and a Darumaka in his arms, a Woobat on his shoulder and a Swablu on his head) wasn't what N was expecting to happen to him today, and there's a collective of confused looks at Skyla from all of them as she asks her question. Zoura yips nosily, though the others stay relative quiet.

"... if I don't eat meat how do you expect me to choose based on a letter?"

oh my god i replied with the wrong account don't fucking look at me

[magisperica]

... shit, she actually found the vegan.

There's a pause and it's pretty clear that she hadn't actually expected that kind of question and she actually scratches her cheek with her pen as she mulls over a proper answer before giving him a shrug.

"No idea," she replies, rather dismissively. "I guess if you don't actually eat meat or whatever, you don't need to answer but. It'd help."

/STARES AT

[unwrittenformula]

Yup.

Granted he's far more vegan in theory than in practice because he's been in situations where there wasn't anything to eat but some sort of meat or animal type food.

Not that he's going to tell her that.

"What exactly are you asking for? Some sort of survey?"

Zoura stares intently at the pen in Skyla's hand as N speaks, and even reaches a paw out to try and snag it from her. Luckily there's enough distance between them that N catches her in the act.

"Zoura, no. That's not yours to play with."

[croceamors]

Ham. [It's probably telling that Saix doesn't bat an eye at random weird questions. He also doesn't bother asking her why.] Doing something productive with your time then?

[magisperica]

[ aha, something she actually has a section for in her handy dandy notebook!

scribble scribble. ]

Not sure if I'd call planning a fucking meat orchard productive, but it's something to pass the goddamn time around here. You'd think someone would've magicked up like, a movie theater or at least a goddamn bowling alley or something.

Besides, if Aoi can grow fucking donut trees, then I can sure as hell have my meat orchard.

[croceamors]

I hear our resident mad scientist set one up.

[So there's that.]

That's the first thing you're interested in making then?

[coolerthansora]

[Oh no, it's this scary girl again.]

Um. Does fish count?

[magisperica]

[ if it's any consolation, she seems to be a little less scary today.

she does frown though and look down at her notebook. ]

Ah, shit. People keep saying fish, but I didn't actually... Fuck, hold on a second.

[ scribble scribble. ]

What about red meat? And uh, white meat too, I guess. Like, bird meat and stuff.

[coolerthansora]

Oh. Well... Maybe bacon.

[He tries to peer at her notebook without being too obvious about it.]

How come you're asking?