thebastion | day 223 - "even the SOUND of bacon frying is like applause!"

Who: Skyla and you!
Open: Open
When: Day 223
Where: All over the Bastion
What: MEAT SURVEY aka "why stop at donut trees when you could have BACON CROPS"
Format: Started with prose, will match with whatever you want to use
Warnings: Skyla's pottymouth, will edit if anything comes up.

So. So.

If you're out and about around the Bastion today, you'll find yourself pulled aside by Skyla, no matter how busy you may be. As shocking as it is that she's actually making an effort to interact with everyone, even more puzzling is the little notepad she has with her, that appears to be occupied by some kind of meat-centric tally chart.

She'll kind of glare for a moment, like she's irritated at being drawn into a conversation (despite the fact that she's the one who started this in the first place) before saying, in a completely casual voice;

"What's your favourite kind of meat? If you're a vegan or some shit, just pick the one that starts with your favourite letter of the alphabet."

No, this isn't an innuendo and yes, you are going to have to ask for context.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

No.

[...Not really, at any rate. Saix pushes his hair back over his shoulder.]

The creatures we eliminated weren't human and... generally not sentient, although I couldn't tell you for sure.

...My friend Axel was more like a hitman, however, now that I think about it. [Saix just sent him to kill people. But the majority of them were assholes, so it's okay.]

... so, less hitman and more just pest control?

Tch, and there was me thinkin' you were really important. What kinda pests were you supposed to be controllin', anyway?

Creatures made out of Darkness and the torn out hearts of people who propagated by doing just that and aimed to devour those of entire Worlds.

They're called Heartless, which isn't a really fitting name but I wasn't the one to dub them that.

[ s....tare.... ]

... so a little more serious than pest control, then, uh.

Are you a magical girl or somethin'?

[ ... asks the magical girl. ]

...No.

[~~regardless of all the sailor moon jokes possible~~]

...

[ suspicious ~~and maybe slightly mocking~~ squinting. ]

You sure?

You got the hair for it.

[s t a r e]

I fail to see what my hair has to do with anything.

Well, it's all long 'n shit. Perfect for swishing around in dumb improbable hairdos.

[ try and tell her she's wrong, saix. go ahead. ]

[What the hell]

I don't do my hair in anything besides how it is. That and the occasional ponytail but I'm fairly certain that's probable.

Really? You're missin' out on a golden fuckin' opportunity there, y'know.

Maybe you should give braids a go or somethin'.

[How did they get to this conversation]

I'll consider it. I'm not particularly a hair expert, however.

[ snort. ]

Yeah, I can tell.

[ SKYLA ]

[u lil shit]

It's the end of the world. I'm not going to fuss about my hair of all things.

Yeah, you've got a point.

[ a pause. ]

Your nails could probably use some work.

[ SKYLA ]

So could yours.

[YOU WANNA GO PUNK]

They sure could, all this Skyway shit has 'em chipped and broke to fuck.

[ she smirks. ]

Y'think if we asked real nice at that bath place, they might whip up a mani-pedi treatment for us?

You seem to be assuming anyone else in this place has any idea how to keep themselves presentable either.

Yeah, you got a point. We should probably count ourselves lucky we've got a fucking bathhouse.

Maybe instead of a meat orchard I should try conjurin' up a salon or somethin'. Gotta look nice for all the legendary post-apoc stories that are gonna get told about us.

Well, it's a novel idea I suppose. I'm sure a friend of mine would be pleased to hear about it, she's been wanting hair dye.

... hair dye.

[ that... rings a bell. ]

She's not the fuckin' weirdo who was throwin' condoms at people and tellin' them to get busy and bone, right?

[ THAT'S NOT WHAT SHE WAS DOING AT ALL, YOU LITTLE SHIT ]

[....Excuse him, he's just bowing his head a bit and covering his hand with his mouth. No he's not smirking to himself, not at all.]

[ DEADPAN; ]

So, that's a yes? Why the hell are you hangin' out with her? Has she thrown protection at you yet?

She doesn't have to throw it at me. We use it the correct way.

[You wanted to know more about his sex life right]

... Wow, really?

[ she is making the most disgusted face right now ]

For future reference I'd appreciate it if you kept your dick and what you do with it out of the conversation.

Fucking nasty.

You did ask.

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