day 223 - "even the SOUND of bacon frying is like applause!"

[magisperica]

Who: Skyla and you!
Open: Open
When: Day 223
Where: All over the Bastion
What: MEAT SURVEY aka "why stop at donut trees when you could have BACON CROPS"
Format: Started with prose, will match with whatever you want to use
Warnings: Skyla's pottymouth, will edit if anything comes up.

So. So.

If you're out and about around the Bastion today, you'll find yourself pulled aside by Skyla, no matter how busy you may be. As shocking as it is that she's actually making an effort to interact with everyone, even more puzzling is the little notepad she has with her, that appears to be occupied by some kind of meat-centric tally chart.

She'll kind of glare for a moment, like she's irritated at being drawn into a conversation (despite the fact that she's the one who started this in the first place) before saying, in a completely casual voice;

"What's your favourite kind of meat? If you're a vegan or some shit, just pick the one that starts with your favourite letter of the alphabet."

No, this isn't an innuendo and yes, you are going to have to ask for context.

Comments

[doctor_dragoon]

The tall boy she stops outside the distillery does indeed look to be rather confused, as does the otter-like Pokemon trailing at his heels. The two of them blink at Skyla for a moment, before the boy puts on an awkward smile and responds.

"Ah... excuse me?"

Did this girl really just randomly ask him about meat?

[bulletofhope]

. . . uh, favorite meat...?

[ Skyla, why are you asking him this right now. Naegi just looks more confused if anything at both her choice of conversation starter and her previous glare. ]

... what's this about?

[amphibian]

Skyla! Hi— [wait wait wait what's this about meat?]

Eh, eh? Just one? It depends how it's cooked, doesn't it? Nothing beats tonkotsu with some extra pork fat, but there's so much you can do with different kinds of beef...

[dragonsorcsandwolves]

Rob both tenses and starts slightly as Skyla touches him; his mind had been elsewhere while he'd been harvesting from the farm and he hadn't registered her approach. The delay before she actually says anything doesn't help either. The question is also unexpected, but it's still an improvement from the previous two points because he at least understands how to respond to it.

"Uh, bacon, though good beef is a close contender. Why? You deciding what to get the meat-making machine to churn out next?"

[superdrowningskills]

"Vegans," he responds in his usual deadpan way.

It's a joke of course; he may never smile, but Alucard does in fact have a sense of humor.

[magisperica]

Tch.

Everything from the little noise she makes to the way she's drumming her pen against her pad just screams impatience and she looks fairly annoyed at having to repeat herself. Why can't people just answer the question and then request context?

"I said 'what's your favourite kind of meat?'. It's not twenty fucking questions, you just gotta answer and then I'll leave you alone."

[magisperica]

...

[ DEADPAN STARE. ]

How fucking short term is your memory, kid?

[magisperica]

... wait, shit, I can't tally all that, hold on--

[ ??? WAS THAT A VOTE FOR PORK OR FOR BEEF OR ]

Yeah, just one-- otherwise it'll throw off the count or whatever.

... unless I do a second round. Shit, that might not be a bad idea... Meat orchard...

[ SKYLA NO ]

[bulletofhope]

... oh. Oh...! Right...

[ Naegi blinks, at first in confusion, but then he remembers their previous conversation and it hits him like a brick to the face.

So that's what this is all about, huh...? He pauses for a moment in thought before answering her question. ]

Chicken, for the most part. Beef, as well... they're both good!

[magisperica]

Finally, someone who's giving her a straight answer! She smirks to herself and gives a little huff before she goes to her little notepad, scribbling down his vote before answering.

"Nah. I just got a dumbfuck idea and I decided to see how far I could go with it before someone tried stoppin' me."

She says this with a huge grin, looking fairly pleased with herself.

"Go ahead and ask me what. Seriously."

[magisperica]

And that gets the equally deadpan response of; "Save a cow, eat a vegan?"

She... would not actually be that stunned if that was the case, though, this place is fucking weird.

"Lemme be more specific, then. Favourite meat that comes from an animal and not a human."

[dragonsorcsandwolves]

There's a pause before he does, because he has the feeling that he's about to hear a bad idea.

"What's your dumbfuck idea?"

[magisperica]

"Two words."

Which she punctuates by holding up her free hand, two fingers raised.

"Meat orchard."

Yes, she's deadly serious.

[magisperica]

... right, okay, I should've been more specific.

[ drumming her pen impatiently against her notebook. ]

Name one.

[bulletofhope]

Chicken, then.

[ Naegi pauses for a moment and frowns. ]

... does it really have to be just one, though?

[ Naegi, plz don't give her any ideas... ]

[unwrittenformula]

Well that was unexpected. Being pulled aside while carrying several Pokemon (a Zoura and a Darumaka in his arms, a Woobat on his shoulder and a Swablu on his head) wasn't what N was expecting to happen to him today, and there's a collective of confused looks at Skyla from all of them as she asks her question. Zoura yips nosily, though the others stay relative quiet.

"... if I don't eat meat how do you expect me to choose based on a letter?"

[dragonsorcsandwolves]

Blink. Blink. Blink.

"You're serious, aren't you."

That was not a question.

[amphibian]

...and if something's not hearty enough, it's real easy to add some chicken. You get some good seasoning on there, you know? Like—'meat orchard'? [WHAT KIND OF COMBINATION OF WORDS IS THAT] What's this for, anyway?

[doctor_dragoon]

It's kind of a weird question, Skyla. Also, you're being pretty rude. That awkward smile quickly melts into a frown, some irritation of his own showing on is face.

"Sashimi. You know, you'd probably get your answers faster if you were a little more polite."

[superdrowningskills]

"Without someone around to tend to it, the cow would inevitably fall prey to any large predator that happened upon it and deemed it an easy target. To creatures of the night that have not chosen a substitute form of prey as I have, vegans would be regarded much the same way."

At least that's the only conclusion he can draw from what little he's been told of the average modern vegan.

The dhampire pauses a moment to think about his answer to the question. Pecker meat is probably not worth mentioning; presumably this is intended for general human consumption and Pecker is a bit of an acquired taste. The mammoths are already here, thus covering that cross-section of meat. Perhaps something from home...?

"...Perhaps mutton or venison."

oh my god i replied with the wrong account don't fucking look at me

[magisperica]

... shit, she actually found the vegan.

There's a pause and it's pretty clear that she hadn't actually expected that kind of question and she actually scratches her cheek with her pen as she mulls over a proper answer before giving him a shrug.

"No idea," she replies, rather dismissively. "I guess if you don't actually eat meat or whatever, you don't need to answer but. It'd help."

[magisperica]

... so this guy. Pretty normal, certainly nothing remotely weird or creepy about him. Not a thing.

Very happy for the excuse that his answer gives her to avoid any further questioning on vegans and the hunting thereof, Skyla turns her attention back to her pad and quickly scribbles down his response -- she has no idea what the fuck venison is supposed to be, but she's got a section for 'lamb/mutton', so that'll work fine.

"What the hell is venison? Sounds like some fancy froufrou shit."

[magisperica]

Her response is a cocked eyebrow.

"Do I look like I'm fucking joking?" is her eventual reply and she scowls, half-heartedly, more to herself than at him as she turns her attention back to the notebook in her hand and starts scribbling something down in it.

"I mean, we've got donut trees, why the fuck not a meat orchard?" she explains as she writes. "It'll take a while to make, but fuck it, it'll give me something to do."

[magisperica]

Well, we have donut trees, yeah?

[ which is said as she just goes 'fuck it' and adds another check on the 'chicken' section of her little chart. ]

Why the hell not meat trees?

[magisperica]

I thought of that already. Get, this kid; meat orchard.

[ look at that goddamn grin, naegi, what have you started. ]

Ask me for details. Seriously. I'm not kidding, I have it all worked out.