thebastion | day 223 - "even the SOUND of bacon frying is like applause!"

Who: Skyla and you!
Open: Open
When: Day 223
Where: All over the Bastion
What: MEAT SURVEY aka "why stop at donut trees when you could have BACON CROPS"
Format: Started with prose, will match with whatever you want to use
Warnings: Skyla's pottymouth, will edit if anything comes up.

So. So.

If you're out and about around the Bastion today, you'll find yourself pulled aside by Skyla, no matter how busy you may be. As shocking as it is that she's actually making an effort to interact with everyone, even more puzzling is the little notepad she has with her, that appears to be occupied by some kind of meat-centric tally chart.

She'll kind of glare for a moment, like she's irritated at being drawn into a conversation (despite the fact that she's the one who started this in the first place) before saying, in a completely casual voice;

"What's your favourite kind of meat? If you're a vegan or some shit, just pick the one that starts with your favourite letter of the alphabet."

No, this isn't an innuendo and yes, you are going to have to ask for context.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Okay, picture this:

Big ass tree, like a willow or something, with huge branches -- the kind that spread out and hang low, yeah?

And instead of fruit, it grows meat. Like, whatever kind of shit you like. Bacon, chicken, lamb, whatever. And get this, okay, because I've thought about it -- instead of going rotten and stinking the fucking place out, instead of going ripe, it gets cooked.

So you gotta pick it at the right time dependin' on how you like your meat. And if it stays on the tree long enough, it goes all black and burned and shit and drops off.

[ Naegi closes his eyes and tries to imagine it... and actually, that sounds like a really good idea. He finds himself nodding in approval as he opens his eyes, liking the idea more than he was expecting. ]

That's actually really clever. I wasn't sure how the meat tree would work because of it being, well, raw meat, but... I like the idea. I really like this...

Do you know how many shards it'll take to get this? It sounds like it might be a lot...

[ she puffs out her cheeks and then blows up, to get her bangs out of her eyes and then gives a little shrug. ]

No fucking clue. Probably like... couple hundred shards per tree or something. So, either I can kill myself trying to get enough or bribe a couple people into helping me out with the promise of fried chicken or something.

Whatever. S'a way to pass the time, I guess.

Well... I don't know about bribing, but here's one person who'd be willing to help with that.

[ Naegi's pointing to himself now as he nods in emphasis. ]

I may not be good at fighting, but I still want to help out where I can.

[ ....

stare. ]

You sure about that?

Like, not to piss on your parade or anything, but you're fucking tiny.

[ It's true, he's the second smallest character in the cast. XD ]

I know that! I just... want to help, really.

If nothing else I could be a good distraction for the monsters?

[ NAEGI PLZ... ]

... Look, kid. Naegi.

[ well, at least she remembered his name...?

and all of a sudden, she's... kind of serious. Not irritable, or any of her usual faces -- in face she sounds almost concerned. ]

S'one thing for me to let myself get torn to shreds out there because I'm a dumbfuck but I'm not dragging you along and letting you get eaten because I needed an extra few shards.

Don't just offer yourself up like that, dumbass.

Skyla...

[ Oh... now Naegi kind of feels bad since he can sense the worry in her tone - and he reacts similarly to a child would upon being scolded. He really didn't mean to make her worry...

There's a pause as he speaks up, though. ]

... sorry. I just... really want to help out in some way, you know? I can't really do much otherwise.

[ Since he's definitely not the physical sort, as canon has proved time and again... ]

Offerin' yourself on a silver platter isn't the best way to help, numbnuts.

[ she gives him a little shove to the shoulder, but it's almost playful and she rolls her eyes at him. ]

Haven't you bought like, an ability or something? Healing or spitting fire or some shit like that?

[ The playful shove does get him to smile a bit, though he quietly sighs as he frowns, more to himself. ]

I haven't been able to... you need shards to get those, right? I'm not exactly good at fighting, so I haven't been any to get much, if any, shards to my name...

[ Sigh. First world heroine problems... ]

Borrow some, I guess. Aoi probably has a ton if she's got enough to go throwin' at strangers. You could always make it out like a loan or somethin' and pay her back once you can actually collect some yourself.

[ shrug. ]

Or you could grab a weapon from the forge and go out swingin' on the Skyway.

... that sounds like a good idea. I think I'll speak to Asahina-san first... I might have a better chance of handling myself if I had both the ability and the weapon instead of just the one.

[ Naegi frowns in thought. ]

Do you know which abilities are available for purchase?

Nope.

[ #Helpful ]

Aoi was the one who did the buyin', so like I said, you're better off askin' her. She probably knows more about it than I do.

[ she shrugs. ]

Or ask one of the others. One of 'em should probably have an idea.

Hmmmm... all right. I'll look into it as soon as I can; I don't feel comfortable just doing nothing around here...

[ Sighing more to himself, he pauses as he glances at the notebook, looking at Skyla curiously. ]

... how many of those trees do you think we'll need?

No idea.

[ for all her claims of thinking this through, it's pretty clear that those thoughts are pretty superficial at best... ]

One to start with, duh, just to see if anyone actually takes food from the fuckin' thing. If it gets ignored, sucks to be them, but I'm not breakin' my back getting the shards to make more of 'em.

... good point.

[ Naegi pauses again in thought. ]

I doubt it's going to go ignored for long, though. Food's pretty valuable here so I know there's people who're going to appreciate it.

[ Or scream in horror, if the reaction to the donut plants were any indication... ]

By "people" y'mean "Aoi", right?

[ she gives a little snort. ]

Let's be real, the second that thing starts sprouting, she'll probably be pullin' meat off it.

Good to know someone's gonna appreciate my hard work, at least.

[ . . .

Was he really that easy to read? He looks away in embarrassment, but he does pause for a moment to speak up again. ]

Yeah, that... sounds like her, all right...

... still, it's useful enough that I'm probably going to be taking advantage of that tree myself. It really is a good idea...

[ And he does mean that, amazingly enough. Chalk it up to being around too many weird people to stay normal for long... ]

day 223 - "even the SOUND of bacon frying is like applause!"

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