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thebastion2013-10-30 01:02 pm
bastionmods) wrote in thebastion2013-10-30 01:02 pm
Entry tags:
- !mingle log,
- !modpost,
- alucard,
- anya jenkins,
- colin starfury,
- dropped: anna kushina,
- dropped: briar moss,
- dropped: crona,
- dropped: duke pantarei,
- dropped: frederic francois chopin,
- dropped: roxas,
- dropped: saix,
- dropped: stein,
- dropped: trisana chandler,
- dropped: viola,
- ippo makunouchi,
- n,
- paarthurnax,
- patchouli knowledge,
- rin okumura,
- ryu (4),
- ryuuji "bon" suguro
Day 123 [OPEN]
Who: Everyone
Open: Open
When: Day 123
Where: All over the Bastion
What: Obligatory "We just got more people/survived a hellish experience" mingle log!
Format: Your choice!
Warnings: Shouldn't be any?
[So the past few days in the Bastion have been very hectic and a little more than emotionally stressful for everyone. About two days have come and gone since the last very large batch of arrivals have come in to the Bastion, and thankfully since then it's been relatively quiet. It's a good time to compress, meet some new people and maybe have some good food at the distillery courtesy of Rin.]
Open: Open
When: Day 123
Where: All over the Bastion
What: Obligatory "We just got more people/survived a hellish experience" mingle log!
Format: Your choice!
Warnings: Shouldn't be any?
[So the past few days in the Bastion have been very hectic and a little more than emotionally stressful for everyone. About two days have come and gone since the last very large batch of arrivals have come in to the Bastion, and thankfully since then it's been relatively quiet. It's a good time to compress, meet some new people and maybe have some good food at the distillery courtesy of Rin.]
no subject
[ She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, giving herself a moment to calm down from the sudden surprising topic shift. ]
I didn't know you noticed. [ She admitted, her voice still light and expression pleasant. ]
It... everything that happened back there in Tenuto... I didn't understand. I still don't, honestly. [ As she let herself remember what happened, worry seeped into her face. ]
I mean, weren't we your friends?
no subject
I don't expect to be forgiven for what I did. The fact that Polka has without so much as a second thought to the matter is nothing short of a miracle.
Yes. You are my friends. I realize that now, but when I took in the sheer destruction wreaked within a world I had so thoroughly convinced myself I had control over a moment of weakness and intense sadness overtook me.
At that moment... I saw nothing but pain and death. I wasn't prepared to feel such heartbreak, and thought the only way to correct it was to take myself out of the equation entirely. If I was the deciding factor, then the only thing I could do was be forced to wake before the destruction continued.
[His hand lifted, fingers pulling away from his palm as if he was reaching out to someone unseen in front of him. Truthfully it was nothing more than a memory, the very memory that convinced him he was the one who had created that world.
After all, Polka was everything Emilia had been, and everything he wished she could have become, yet still bound by the same cruel fate to die at such a young age.]
I couldn't wake myself. That was not an option to me any more. But I couldn't simply explain away the need to die then and there. Attempting to take my own "life" in that world, as it were, wouldn't have yielded the proper results.
[Hand lowered again, he turned his gaze to Viola, looking upon her with the eyes of a man much more older than his thirty-nine years.]
Again, I don't expect forgiveness, but I had to have you all turn against me in order to accomplish that goal...
no subject
[ It didn't all make sense to her. It sounded like he still thought everything that happened was just some dream he was having, like he really believed he controlled everything. ]
[ But it was never just his world, not as far as Viola was concerned. No matter how many times Frederic asserted that everything existed in his dream, she didn't believe it. She was her own person, just like Polka, Jazz, Allegretto, and the rest. She decided what to say or what to do; no one controlled her. ]
[ If he really was in control of everything, why would he have ever let all those bad things happen in the first place? Why didn't he just put a stop to it all right from the beginning? ]
[ She frowned, remembering with stinging pain the battle he had forced her to go through. Her tone grew harsh, almost spiteful. ] And what was your goal anyway? To die?
[ Viola roughly rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand. ] Dying never would've solved anything. If it wasn't for Polka--
[ She stopped herself from finishing that sentence. For a moment, she almost wanted to blame Frederic for Polka's decision to sacrifice herself, but ultimately thought better of it. Polka made the choice herself, just like everyone else did. ]
[ And Polka never held any of this against Frederic. Viola remembered her saying that Frederic had given them all a 'gift.' But Viola couldn't really see a gift. All he gave them was more sadness. ]
no subject
[He hesitated on the correction, because as much as he insisted that their world was his dream, he wasn't so completely insensitive as to see that it didn't upset a few of them.
And he had often wondered himself why in the end he had so little control over events while still affecting things so much.]
You're wrong - it would have released me. In Paris, I was dying. I had been dying for many, many years. I was weak and holding on by threads. The fact that I remained tethered to that world while in a state of physical distress, unable to move forward and unable to recover.
It had to end, Viola. You all continued to suffer so long as I suffered and my own astra could never connect to Polkas while that went on.
no subject
[ So that was what he meant about a 'dream world.' If they'd had this conversation back home, Viola wouldn't have accepted the idea of multiple worlds any more than she accepted the idea of dream worlds. But since arriving at the Bastion and meeting so many other people that said they were from other worlds, Viola had been forced to open her mind to such a possibility. ]
[ And it explained a lot about Frederic, realizing that he was a visitor from a different world. Viola had always recognized that other-ness about him, although she originally just attributed it to his unique manner. ]
[ He had mentioned dreams plenty of times, but this was the first time she had ever heard him mention dying. She knew that he had some kind of terminal illness--all magic users did--but it wasn't something she put much thought to. In fact, now that she thought about it, Viola realized that she really didn't know anything about Frederic, except what they had experienced together on their journey. She had never thought about the life he had before. ]
[ And now that she knew about it, she was sad. Really sad. It was like a poignant pain in her own heart, tied with all sorts of regrets that Viola had never felt before. If these were the sympathy pains, Viola couldn't imagine what it really felt like for Frederic. ]
[ She didn't know what to say, an experience that was usually rare for Viola. She sat in silence for what felt like forever, thinking over all these things. ]
You're at least.. not suffering now, right?
no subject
That was not something he would have wanted for her, but he couldn't argue against it either. It meant she understood what he had been going through in those moments before deciding to turn against his friends.
He still didn't expect forgiveness, but he hoped if nothing else they were on the path towards mending their friendship.]
No. I'm no longer suffering thanks to all of you.
no subject
[ Had he been feeling this way for their whole journey? ]
How come you didn't say anything sooner? --About.. dying and stuff.
no subject
Polka was informed when I first met her, but that was mostly due to her knowledge of her own illness and how we were both capable of using magic.
That said... how things progressed kept me from voicing it to anyone else. The more we learned the more troubling the situations became, and I simply found myself not wanting to burden anyone further.
In hindsight... it probably would have made the end of all that easier to deal with, but at the same time I had no way of knowing if my confession of my state and my plan would have resulted in unneeded hesitance from everyone.
no subject
[ She couldn't fault his logic; there hadn't been any time on their journey for a discussion of this magnitude. Everyone knew that magic users had terminal illnesses, yes, but it seemed that Frederic's was different. Everything about him was different. Different, unusual, and often difficult to understand. Yet, he belonged. That much was irrevocably evident to Viola, even though she wouldn't be able to explain why. ]
[ She knew she could forgive Frederic for what he had done. She still didn't think he made the right decision, but she could more or less understand why he did. ]
[ Sighing again, she leaned to the side, bumping against his shoulder. She wasn't too sure what to say anymore; she had never been that good at important conversations in the first place. ]
no subject
Oh... it was a sign of affection. Her silence and expression said as much, and even spoke volumes about her understanding of the situation. Certainly he had made a mistake, any one of them could tell him that, but it was a mistake that was forgiven.
Letting out his own pent up breath, Frederic relaxed for the first time since the conversation had started and actually smiled.]
Thank you, Viola...