Hilda (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ourlegends) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
thebastion2014-05-16 12:55 am
ourlegends) wrote in thebastion2014-05-16 12:55 am
[day 186] you shoot me down, but I won't fall (closed)
Who: N and Hilda
Open: Closed
When: Day 186 - Night (After everyone is home from the Skyway Shenanigans)
Where: Their House (Pokemon Daycare)
What: Not every relationship is easy.
Format: Action Brackets
Warnings: Two very emotionally destroyed people and a lover's quarrel.
[ N had been gone for most of the day.
It worried Hilda, who had no idea where he had gone to. So, when he arrived back home, she was relieved. What she wasn't so relieved about was the state he was in. Ever since returning from wherever he had been all day, N had been barely responsive to her, even though she tried to talk to him.
With everything that had happened lately, Hilda had been blaming herself. For all of it. For not being strong enough to tell him about their world before this happened, for not being strong enough to be there for N, who was clearly not doing well ... for not being strong enough to take care of herself during all of this, too. The relationship she had with N was becoming even more fragile every day, and the tension between the two of them was thick.
She had to try to do something. She was afraid of losing him. She didn't want to lose him just because she was stupid and didn't talk to him when it needed to happen.
She sat next to him now, quiet for a long time.
Such a great start, Hilda thought to herself. She was already starting to beat herself up again. Finally, she reached out and tried to take his hand into her own. ]
N ...
Open: Closed
When: Day 186 - Night (After everyone is home from the Skyway Shenanigans)
Where: Their House (Pokemon Daycare)
What: Not every relationship is easy.
Format: Action Brackets
Warnings: Two very emotionally destroyed people and a lover's quarrel.
[ N had been gone for most of the day.
It worried Hilda, who had no idea where he had gone to. So, when he arrived back home, she was relieved. What she wasn't so relieved about was the state he was in. Ever since returning from wherever he had been all day, N had been barely responsive to her, even though she tried to talk to him.
With everything that had happened lately, Hilda had been blaming herself. For all of it. For not being strong enough to tell him about their world before this happened, for not being strong enough to be there for N, who was clearly not doing well ... for not being strong enough to take care of herself during all of this, too. The relationship she had with N was becoming even more fragile every day, and the tension between the two of them was thick.
She had to try to do something. She was afraid of losing him. She didn't want to lose him just because she was stupid and didn't talk to him when it needed to happen.
She sat next to him now, quiet for a long time.
Such a great start, Hilda thought to herself. She was already starting to beat herself up again. Finally, she reached out and tried to take his hand into her own. ]
N ...
no subject
You know what he made me! You saw that room, you know what he intended me to be!
[His voice raises louder, startling and even frightening a few of the nearby Pokemon who could feel his rage and anger.]
When we found the Daycare Center, I didn't even care about the people who died in the Calamity! All that I cared about were the Pokemon! My father was right about me - I am a freak without a heart!
no subject
Unfortunately, she doesn't know how to get the words out. For a long time, she's quiet, grasping for something, anything she could say to him. There are so many things she wants to say.
"Who he wanted you to be is not who you are."
"It's understandable you would feel that way since you were raised that way for so long."
"You have a heart. I know you do."
Those things, and so many others, were on her mind as possible things to say, but in her frustration, she couldn't seem to say them.
Her hands clench into fists, and she struggles to keep the tears welling in her eyes from falling.
This is frustrating. She feels horrible, he feels even worse, and she can't even bring herself to do anything but cry about it.
What happened to the hero he believed she was?
She isn't a hero. She's never thought of herself as one. Right now, she's just an upset teenage girl at the end of the world, and the love of her life just told her how she should feel. ]
no subject
He has suffered multiple blows emotionally. He's had his ego built up, torn down, slowly pieced back together again only to have it kicked in the damn teeth by seeing that place again. There was so much his life could have been with his gift but the man that had crushed any hope of that between his fingers while watching a little boy suffer over emotions and pain that was not his own (until it became his own) no longer existed.
And by no longer existing, there was no way for N to see his life as anything but wasted. If he had the chance to speak those words to Ghetsis, maybe his righteous anger given voice would have been what it took to finally convince himself he was worth that love Hilda was so willing to give...
But that anger was still inside, stewing, twisting, crawling in to the dark spaces in his mind and taking shape as shadows and nightmares and constant doubt that he was ever going to be anything more than what he had been made in to.
Cold. Heartless. Caring only for creatures and not for the flesh and blood race that he himself was supposed to be a part of.
And beyond that?
A failure.
He could hear her sniffling behind him, and while something tugged at his chest, urged him in a tiny, frightened voice to do something for her... he didn't.
He wouldn't even turn around.]
no subject
The worst thing about this is that she can't seem to find a way to fix it. Finally, she forces herself to speak again, her voice cracking with emotion as she does. ]
E-Even ... Even so ... I-I love you. I won't feel any way else, and telling me I shouldn't isn't going to change that at all.
[ There are so many things she can tell him about the kind of person she sees in him, but there's no way he will believe it. Not as he is right now. Maybe not ever.
No, all she can really say right now is how she feels, to reaffirm that for him. Even if he tells her she shouldn't love him, it won't change that she does. ]
no subject
[She was already hurt. And yet he couldn't bring himself to do anything about it. There was still that voice in his head, that tugging at his heart that told him this was wrong, this was wrong and he could fix it but--
But he couldn't. There was something left over from their trip to the castle that was blocking his heart, telling him that he was incapable of being the one to fix it.
He moved towards the door to the house then. He didn't know what was going to do - if he was just going to sleep or stare at the ceiling or what, but he knew that he couldn't stay there.]
no subject
All she really knew at the moment was that her heart hurt, badly. If she went into the house, she might risk seeing him again, and she wasn't sure if she could handle that right now.
After a long time of sitting and crying, she tries to dry her tears. She stands up and starts heading toward the fenced-in field they had for the Pokemon. She makes her way over to Emboar, needing the comfort her friend could provide at the moment.
It doesn't take long for her to start crying again once she's with him. She would be staying here for the night. ]