Day 256 [Open]

[daughterofursa]

Who: Zuko and anyone
Open: Open!
When: Day 256, evening
Where: By the lake
What: A failure to meditate
Format: I'll match
Warnings: Honor

Zuko knows she's always been hard on herself, but she's never really considered it to be too hard. But some of the things people have been saying about her... Well, people in the Bastion have always expressed a more positive view of her than she thinks she deserves, and she always figured it was because they don't know what she's come from, but she's finally starting to wonder. Maybe the flawed perspective is her own.

Which is why she is attempting something else which, like positive thinking, she is not very good at: meditating. Whoever really wants to can find her by the lake, sitting cross-legged with her eyes closed and... definitely scowling more than she ought to be.

Comments

[notachickenhawk]

[Since she's seen him, he figures it's okay to talk.]

<What's going on?>

[He almost said 'what's up' but then again she's not from the same world and slang seems to be a problem.]

[daughterofursa]

...I'm trying to meditate.

[Yeah, even she's aware that that 'trying' needs to be in there.]

[notachickenhawk]

<But not succeeding.>

[His own noisemaking aside.]

<What's on your mind?>

[daughterofursa]

[Zuko says nothing at first, looking down at her hands.]

...I guess I'm just realizing... I haven't come as far as I thought I had.

[notachickenhawk]

<There's nothing wrong with that. It just means that you know that you're working on it. At least you are working on it, whatever it is.>

[daughterofursa]

Am I?

I'm not sure I even know how to.

[notachickenhawk]

<Do you want to talk about it?>

[daughterofursa]

I don't know.

[Kind of?]

I wish my uncle were here. I know he'd have something to tell me.

...and I probably wouldn't understand it, but it'd be something to start with.

[notachickenhawk]

<What would you say to him?>

[daughterofursa]

How do you... know when you've proven yourself?

[notachickenhawk]

<Proven yourself to who? And proven yourself about what?>

[daughterofursa]

...to me, I think.

No one else seems to care anymore.

[notachickenhawk]

<Okay. So what does proving yourself to yourself mean to you?>

[daughterofursa]

I don't know. I just don't think I've done it yet.

[notachickenhawk]

<And knowing when you've done it is the problem.>

[That's... a tough one.]

<I can't... really give you answers for that. But I do know that you don't have to prove anything to anyone else. And no matter what, there's people here for you.>

[daughterofursa]

I'm realizing that.

But I knew how to do it for other people.

[notachickenhawk]

<Yeah. Things like this are... hard. Really hard. I guess maybe it's something people work on their whole lives, but... I don't really know. I'm still pretty much a kid myself, at least by most people's thinking.>

[daughterofursa]

From everything you've told me? You're not a kid.

But proving yourself... it's something you have to do after you mess up, right? I think I have been trying my whole life. Just being born was mistake enough for my father.

[notachickenhawk]

<... I don't totally know your situation, but if just being born was a mistake to him, then I don't think he sounds like a very good father.>

[daughterofursa]

He wasn't. I don't think anyone could have been a worse father.

[notachickenhawk]

<Well that's definitely one thing you don't have to make up for.>

[daughterofursa]

No. But it's no excuse either. The things I did trying to make him proud of me... They're still choices I made.

[notachickenhawk]

<True. But the past is the past. You can't do anything about it now.>

[daughterofursa]

I'm not in the past. I'm still just as capable of making mistakes.

[notachickenhawk]

<... Sorry. I'm not very good at this.>