Day 256 [Open]

[daughterofursa]

Who: Zuko and anyone
Open: Open!
When: Day 256, evening
Where: By the lake
What: A failure to meditate
Format: I'll match
Warnings: Honor

Zuko knows she's always been hard on herself, but she's never really considered it to be too hard. But some of the things people have been saying about her... Well, people in the Bastion have always expressed a more positive view of her than she thinks she deserves, and she always figured it was because they don't know what she's come from, but she's finally starting to wonder. Maybe the flawed perspective is her own.

Which is why she is attempting something else which, like positive thinking, she is not very good at: meditating. Whoever really wants to can find her by the lake, sitting cross-legged with her eyes closed and... definitely scowling more than she ought to be.

Comments

[notachickenhawk]

<Well that's definitely one thing you don't have to make up for.>

[daughterofursa]

No. But it's no excuse either. The things I did trying to make him proud of me... They're still choices I made.

[notachickenhawk]

<True. But the past is the past. You can't do anything about it now.>

[daughterofursa]

I'm not in the past. I'm still just as capable of making mistakes.

[notachickenhawk]

<... Sorry. I'm not very good at this.>

[daughterofursa]

Obviously neither am I.

There has to be some balance...

[notachickenhawk]

<Yeah. ... Even if I'm not that helpful, I'm still here if you ever do need to just... talk. I can just listen, if you want.>

[daughterofursa]

...

You must've made some mistakes. Not like me, but... Is it in the past to you? Do you just trust yourself that you know better now?

[notachickenhawk]

[Tobias goes still, and closes his eyes.]

<I was captured. Tortured. It was part of a plan, because we wanted to make our enemies think their weapon didn't work, but... it was horrible. The person who tortured me... I found out a lot about her. I felt bad for her host, even though she was... insane. And when the others finally got me out of there, I thought she might have died in the mess. I hoped she did, even though we try not to hurt the host bodies of humans especially. But she didn't.>

[He opens his eyes and looks back at Zuko.]

<Months later she showed up again. I thought she'd changed - that she was with a group that didn't want the invasion, didn't want war, and wanted peace instead. The others asked me if I really thought she'd changed, and I said that... yeah. Maybe. It was a chance we couldn't not take. But she hadn't changed at all. She tried to bury us, to blow us up, to get us infested or killed or... worse. I'm... pretty sure she died in the explosion, but she... she could have survived. Maybe she's out there after the Calamity hit, just... wandering.>

[Her Yeerk would probably be dead but... it was a possibility, especially now that he knows that Erek survived it.]

<I'd like to think I know better now. Maybe I don't. Maybe I'm just fooling myself. But I don't think I'll... ever trust someone like that ever again. It was... stupid. It could have killed all of us. And I can still turn into her if I want, though I don't know... why I would.>

[daughterofursa]

...

But that was her. You took a chance on someone, and... she failed you. That's on her.

[notachickenhawk]

<I almost got everyone killed. Not just my friends, but we were the only ones standing between the Yeerks and effectively total domination of the planet. A lot of people would have died resisting them.>

[daughterofursa]

Isn't she the one who tried to kill you all?

[notachickenhawk]

<Yeah. But my mistake to trust her would have led to that.>

[daughterofursa]

I don't think it was much of a mistake.

[notachickenhawk]

<Maybe not. The others didn't. But I guess... I don't know. Maybe I'm just used to the laws of nature which just... don't have any room for messing up.>

[daughterofursa]

There's not always a lot of room with people, either. I think I've used all of it.

[notachickenhawk]

<Maybe with the people you knew. But there's new people here. And you have more room for mistakes here. I mean sure, it's still a matter of survival, but... there's a lot of people to catch you when you fall.>

[daughterofursa]

Catch me? What do you mean?

[notachickenhawk]

<Support you. Like... if you're walking on a path, and you stumble, if you're alone you just fall and hurt yourself. But if you have people around you who are willing to help, they can catch you and support you until you can keep moving.>

[daughterofursa]

My uncle used to do that. Even when I was on the wrong path, for a while.

I can't expect that from anyone here.

[notachickenhawk]

<Why not?>

[daughterofursa]

Because he was family. Real family. He loved me like his own daughter.

[notachickenhawk]

<Yeah. ... There's no way anyone can replace that. But people can still be friends.>

[daughterofursa]

And friends... support each other like that?

[notachickenhawk]

<... Yeah. That's part of what friends are for.>