Day 218 [Open]

[dontyoujustwish]

Who: Anya and anyone
Open: Open!
When: 218, throughout the day
Where: All over the Bastion
What: Unsolicited sex-ed
Format: I'll match
Warnings: Anya has no filters.

Anya does not normally spend much time on the Skyway, but anyone might have noticed she's been going out more than usual over the past week. Sometimes alone, sometimes dragging certain Nobodies along because it is in their best interest.

The goal of all this? Safety and education. She is being awfully generous and using the resulting shards to buy a large quantity of condoms. Not just for herself, but for the Bastion's population of should-be-hormonal teenagers and the like.

If you look like you've been through puberty, Anya is liable to approach you. She's not going door-to-door or anything (she doesn't care that much), but if she sees you around the Bastion, better be prepared for a probably awkward conversation.

Comments

[dontyoujustwish]

Anya may, by now, be aware that interrupting someone in the midst of an activity is generally frowned upon, but what she's doing is more important than books.

"Hello," she says to announce herself, and promptly follows up with an outstretched handful of condoms. "I'm handing these out today." Maybe trying to make it a short interruption is her idea of courtesy? Or maybe she's just being as blunt as usual.

[dontyoujustwish]

[Not only is it over the top, but it doesn't make the slightest bit of sense in this situation.]

What? Why would you want to do that?

I just gave you something for free, you should be thanking me.

[amnesiadragon]

[He looks up and smiles.]

We're not related, as far as we know. A lot of things between our worlds are similar, but not the same. So... I don't know, actually!

[dontyoujustwish]

[Anya waves a hand dismissively.]

That part isn't so important anyway.

I wanted to give you some of these. [And she presents him with a small handful of condoms.]

[dragonsorcsandwolves]

...Sure. I'll do that. That everything?

[dontyoujustwish]

Yes. You're free to go away now.

[amnesiadragon]

[He just... stares at her blankly.]

What are they?

[magisperica]

Because condoms are exactly what I want and need in this place.

Yeah, can't you just see the fucking mile-long line of eligible suitors queuing up to stick their dicks in me?

[ I think it's pretty safe to say that She Mad. ]

[dontyoujustwish]

[Oh, it's her first truly clueless one.]

They're condoms. You see, when you have sex, you roll it on over your penis to protect against pregnancy and diseases.

[dontyoujustwish]

I have noticed a general lack of libido around here, but I'm sure things will pick up once more people get over the end of the world.

I don't see any other reason someone wouldn't want to have sex with you. Well, other people, I'm not gay. So if you want to, now you have one less thing to worry about.

[amnesiadragon]

[Uhh...]

Disease? How does that... how do you get this small package on it? Do you put it through the thing?

[heptagram]

Patchouli looked up from her book briefly to see this stranger handing out condoms. It's kind of hard to really come up with a coherent response to that, honestly.

"That... that is very kind of you." Patchouli didn't really have it in he to explain to Anya that the odds of her needing one were probably pretty slim.

[dontyoujustwish]

Anya beams at that response, faltering though it may be. "Thank you! You're the first person to say so. Someone even threatened to punch me in the face."

[dontyoujustwish]

It helps to open the package first. Then you just put it on the tip and roll it down.

[Here, she'll demonstrate with her fingers.]

[heptagram]

"That just seems like a waste of energy," Patchouli responded, "to hurt each other. Unless, of course, it turns out they're actively harming us."

Then, by all means, Patchouli would be fully willing to knock them off the edge of the skyway. But until that time comes...

[dontyoujustwish]

"Doesn't it? Especially when I'm being so thoughtful."

Anya would probably be willing to push a man off the edge of the Skyway for less than 'active harming,' but in this instance both threatener and threatened are women.

[amnesiadragon]

Oh.

[... Pauuuuuse.]

Why would I be having sex?

[dontyoujustwish]

Is there some particular reason why you wouldn't? You look old enough.

[amnesiadragon]

I... I'm not actually as old as I look.

[dontyoujustwish]

That's not terribly surprising when I don't think you're human, but how old does that make you anyway?

[amnesiadragon]

Me as my own separate person... I've only existed for about... six months now?

[dontyoujustwish]

Well, you're definitely more mature than a six-month-old. They're not even people yet.

[amnesiadragon]

They're not?

[dontyoujustwish]

How can they be? Their peak achievements are being able to crawl around and make unintelligible noises. They're more like inept, needy pets.

[amnesiadragon]

I... guess? I don't know very much about young mortals.