Day 188

[daughterofursa]

Who: Zuko and anyone!
Open: Open!
When: Day 188, morning
Where: Eastern Bastion
What: Tea time. =)
Format: I'll match.
Warnings: Honor.

It's not uncommon to find Zuko up at an early hour, but she usually spends the time doing something she considers productive--training or otherwise preparing for time on the Skyway. She doesn't leave herself much time for sitting and thinking, most days. She figures it's better that way, since her thoughts so easily turn negative. But this morning, she's trying her best not to let them.

She can be found seated cross-legged on the eastern side of the Bastion, just north of Dragonfield, watching the unaccountable sunrise with a cup of tea in hand. Actually, the whole set is with her, a plain but sturdy-looking earthenware pot and several more matching cups. She hasn't invited anyone to join her, but if any impromptu guests show up, she's decided to accommodate them. That's what her uncle would do, she's sure.

Comments

[daughterofursa]

[Oh, Rin. If only you had attended the Royal Fire Academy for Girls. ... Well, that's probably not where Zuko learned the sword, but all the known attendees are pretty deadly.

That wild move at least deflects Zuko's blade, but there is still plenty of an opening after that sword goes flying. Zuko doesn't take it; this isn't a serious fight.

She does look kind of smug for a second, but she beats it down because she's supposed to be the teacher here.]

You had time to dodge that. It's good to have a solid stance, but you don't want to be so rooted that you don't think about moving.

[She steps back, in case Rin wants to go retrieve her wayward sword.]

[hellpyre]

[Rin scowls, though it's not in irritation at Zuko. She's irritated with herself, because even though she's new to all this still she can't help but hear Shura berating her in her head.

Get it together, Rin! You're never gonna be Paladin at this rate!

It fades with a sigh, and she nods, shuffling to get her sword out of the ground where it stuck.]

[daughterofursa]

[Zuko thinks she knows what Rin is feeling. She struggled with firebending for a long time, always wanting to learn more advanced techniques than she was ready for. She thinks this is coming more naturally to Rin than that; she's just green.]

You're still learning. Don't get too frustrated if you can't keep up with me yet.

[She considers offering to drop to one sword herself, but Rin might take affront.]

[hellpyre]

[She might.

But she does get her other one out of the ground and shake the dirt off so she can put it back at her hip.]

Is it wrong that I feel like I should be better'n this by now?

[daughterofursa]

I think that's normal.

You're a beginner, but you're picking up more now. You feel like that means you should be able to pick up anything, but that's getting ahead of yourself.

[hellpyre]

... how long did it take you to learn?

[daughterofursa]

I trained for several years with Master Piandao. [Until she was banished.]

It... came a lot easier to me than firebending.

[hellpyre]

You were still-- I mean you pretty much knew you had that your whole life, right? Your firebending... ?

[daughterofursa]

Yeah. And I've been training as long as I can remember. It was hard enough at first, and then when my sister started, it was as easy to her as breathing. I guess I spent so much time trying to match her, that I neglected mastering the basics.

[hellpyre]

[That's just a reminder that Yuki could have turned in to a completely different person. Prodigy, yes. Absolutely reprehensible person? Thankfully, no.]

I didn't know what I was until I was fifteen. I mean I was always different but it's not like I was walkin' around with a tail and fire for most of my life.

[daughterofursa]

[Zuko nods.] Firebenders have to learn to create fire before we have to worry about controlling it. Not like you.

I think you're doing pretty well.

[hellpyre]

But that's the problem, innit? It's just... there.

[Which she feels makes it more difficult to control, especially when emotions get in the way.]

[daughterofursa]

Don't think of it that way. It isn't "just there." It's here first. [She motions to her chest with the hilt of one sword.] It's your own energy, taking form around you.

It just goes to show how powerful your inner fire is.

[hellpyre]

[Rin lets out a bitter laugh at that, pressed to her chest for a moment.]

I spent so damn long tryin' to convince everyone they were my flames, not Satan's... I'unno why I've been doubtin' that lately.

[daughterofursa]

You've had it rough lately. But this is no time to be doubting yourself.

[hellpyre]

It's been happenin' a lot more than I'd like to admit...

[daughterofursa]

...

I might not know my path right now, but I still know who I am, and what I can do. That hasn't changed. It should be the same for you.

[hellpyre]

[Why did you save me, old man... ?

Rin visibly winces at that, drawing back from Zuko with a slow shake of her head.]

I don't know who I am. I dunno... if I ever really did.

[daughterofursa]

[Zuko frowns at her reply, and where Rin draws back, Zuko steps forward.]

You're Rin Okumura. A fire demon and daughter of Shiro. And you're a fighter, like me.

[hellpyre]

[A question she won't ever get an answer to. Shiro was gone and that was that.

But Zuko was... mostly right. Ucchusma had asked her before leaving after the defeat of the Impure King what Rin was going to ultimately choose - demon or human. And she still didn't know.]

... then why am I still so scared?

[daughterofursa]

What are you afraid of?

[hellpyre]

I... I'unno. I thought I stopped bein' so scared after Kyoto, after we won and I was able to use my flames to save everyone but...

[They've lost so much. The Calamity alone took away almost everyone she loved and cared about. The Skyway took away Night, and so many others.]

[daughterofursa]

Sometimes, you try your hardest, and you still fail. Sometimes you can't help everyone.

[Zuko is such an up person.]

But if you let that scare you so much that you don't even try, then failure is the only outcome.

[hellpyre]

[Oh yes, so positive.]

I have tried, though! I went my whole life tryin' to do the right thing and all I ever did was fuck up!

[daughterofursa]

I've spent a lot of my life screwing up doing the wrong thing. Just knowing what's right doesn't come so easily to everyone.

You're going to keep trying to do the right thing, and so am I. Even if we screw it up.