Day 218 [Open]

[dontyoujustwish]

Who: Anya and anyone
Open: Open!
When: 218, throughout the day
Where: All over the Bastion
What: Unsolicited sex-ed
Format: I'll match
Warnings: Anya has no filters.

Anya does not normally spend much time on the Skyway, but anyone might have noticed she's been going out more than usual over the past week. Sometimes alone, sometimes dragging certain Nobodies along because it is in their best interest.

The goal of all this? Safety and education. She is being awfully generous and using the resulting shards to buy a large quantity of condoms. Not just for herself, but for the Bastion's population of should-be-hormonal teenagers and the like.

If you look like you've been through puberty, Anya is liable to approach you. She's not going door-to-door or anything (she doesn't care that much), but if she sees you around the Bastion, better be prepared for a probably awkward conversation.

Comments

i laughed for like five minutes straight before i could actually tag this

[magisperica]

[ yes, hello, did you say puberty, because here is a girl innocently munching her way through her lunch while in the distillery who has definitely gone through puberty. ]

good that is my goal

[dontyoujustwish]

[Anya is briefly distracted from her mission by something else, however.]

Where are you girls getting the pink hair dye, is that from the Monument, too?

[magisperica]

[ skyla looks up from her food and

U N I M P R E S S.

She doesn't stop munching as she replies. ]

Ask someone who actually dyes her hair. This is au naturel.

[ kind of. ]

[dontyoujustwish]

Oh, so you're like Saix with his blue hair, it just grows that way. [Oh well. She'll just have to look into the dye on her own.]

Well, you must get a lot of attention for it. [Out come the condoms! She puts a handful down on the table in front of Skyla.] Here.

[magisperica]

[ Oh.

That gets her to stop munching at last.

Skyla stares down at them for a second, before looking back up at Anya

back down at the condoms

back up at Anya

with an expression that very clearly says what the sweet fuck is happening and what did I do to deserve it.

She jabs her fork at the... things. ]

I swear to god, this had better be very unfortunately packaged chewing gum.

[dontyoujustwish]

No, they're condoms. [Definitely not chewing gum.]

I want you to be prepared.

[magisperica]

Right, cool, okay. Now answer me this this;

What the fuck is wrong with you?!

[ SERIOUSLY

SHE'S EATING HERE ]

[dontyoujustwish]

Nothing is wrong with me. I feel quite well today, actually.

[She may have missed the point of that question.]

[magisperica]

So, I guess it wouldn't be too out of the question for me to punch you in the face, would it?

[ skyla that's kind of over the top calm down ]

[dontyoujustwish]

[Not only is it over the top, but it doesn't make the slightest bit of sense in this situation.]

What? Why would you want to do that?

I just gave you something for free, you should be thanking me.

[magisperica]

Because condoms are exactly what I want and need in this place.

Yeah, can't you just see the fucking mile-long line of eligible suitors queuing up to stick their dicks in me?

[ I think it's pretty safe to say that She Mad. ]

[dontyoujustwish]

I have noticed a general lack of libido around here, but I'm sure things will pick up once more people get over the end of the world.

I don't see any other reason someone wouldn't want to have sex with you. Well, other people, I'm not gay. So if you want to, now you have one less thing to worry about.

[magisperica]

...

[ just gonna stare for a second and then when she finally speaks up, her voice is ice cold. ]

Yeah, because when you've lost everything and everyone that you've ever loved, when you don't even get the fucking grace of being able to die with them -- the first thing you think of is hopping into the sack. Right.

[ she stands up suddenly, hard enough to make the table rattle and turns on her heel, to storm away. ]

Keep the fucking things, I don't want them.

[dontyoujustwish]

It does help with stress re-- Hey!

[Anya won't follow, but she does plant her hands on her hips and call after her.]

You don't have to be so rude about it! I'm only trying to help.

[magisperica]

[ that doesn't get her to stop storming off, but she does glance over her shoulder, mid-stride, to yell back; ]

Do me a favour then and help yourself.

[ how to win friends and influence people, a bestselling novel very definitely not written by Skyla Arkin. ]

[dontyoujustwish]

But I'm already having safe sex.

[She is just so confused by this encounter.]