Day 288

[polariity]

Who: The Helmsman and you
Open: Open
When: Day 288
Where: By the entrance to the Skyway
What: The Helmsman ventures out and comes back with some shinies he's heard so much about.
Format: Any
Warnings: The usual difficulties that come with chatting it up with him

Regardless of the tension that's flared up because of recent discussions, it seems as though the Helmsman's schedule hasn't changed particularly greatly. Today, just like every other day, he ventures outwards from the Tower. Unlike every other day, however, he doesn't venture off onto Dragonfield or wander about the Bastion or lay face down on the grass. Instead, when he shows up again, it's from the direction of the Skyway and a bruise blossoming on one side of his face.

And then he lays down on the grass where anyone could step on him.

At least it's not just laying, this time. Sparks of red and blue lift up tiny little shards for him to inspect curiously. For anyone in the area, he's not hard to miss.

Comments

[polariity]

Even as she pulls away, however, he's curling in close to her again almost desperately. She's here. She's really here. He can't lose her again. He doesn't have anything or anyone else.

4nd
1t2 0k4y t0 63 2c4r3d
4nd run

[disciplewhomsignlessloves]

And suddenly, she chokes on a sob. Scared? Had she been scared? In her mind, it had been cowardice to run for survival, it had been motivated by a desire to live, to keep them all alive in memory. Being afraid? Had she been afraid?

Sometimes, most times, she ignored fear. It wasn't relevant. She wasn't afraid to get hurt. Wasn't afraid of anything, except, it seemed, death. Maybe deep down that's why she couldn't forgive herself. All the times she said it was for them, what they wanted, wanted her to survive, she had known she had been a real coward. Scared.

"I'm not afraid to die," She lies, "I put myself in so many situations...I wanted to die for you all. To see you all be free, I would have..."

[polariity]

It's coming back to him. Slowly. How to talk with her again, what little things to pick up on. The only real thing blocking it all had been his own denial of reality. There'd been time, of course, but he's had time to be around her again.

With acceptance of his own situation, he can look at her with slightly clearer eyes and give a tired shake of his head.

1t2 0k4y t0 63 2c4r3d

A determined repeat.

[disciplewhomsignlessloves]

Disciple glances back at him, biting her lip between pointed teeth. When he repeats it, her shoulders sag. She shrugs. Probably not the response he was hoping for.

"It was stupid. To be scared of death. I know we all have a very healthy and developed sense of survival, I mean, you have to. To grow up and live and not be killed as a grub. But I suppose...I suppawse I thought better of myself."

She reaches for his hand again, laces her fingers through his. It helps.

"Knowing you all wanted me to survive, to run, didn't make it easier. It didn't make me feel better. And it was really easy to forget. Like it was probably easy for you to forget. That I didn't hate you. That you didn't hate me."

[polariity]

Gently, the heat of the psinics thinly layered over his fingers start to fade away. All that's left are the bone thin of his hands and fingertips.

It's difficult to actually get them to work. After all, he's been relying on his psionics for nearly everything, refusing to figure out how to use his own body again or work it up to a functional level. But he tries, trembling and weak fingers doing their best to grip hers right back.

1 f0r91v3 y0u
n0t th4t 1 h4t3d y0u t0 2t4rt w1th

[disciplewhomsignlessloves]

It's a little startling to feel him without the tingle of psionics, without the extra warmth. He feels cooler for a moment, before the heat of his blood makes up for it. His grip isn't firm and she finds herself being more gentle, as if she was hurting him.

"Psii..." She breathed out slowly, eyes closed for a moment. Of course he forgave her. Of course. She's ridiculous, she decides. Needing this confirmation so much. But it soothes her a little. The parts of her still bundled up in tension and guilt.

"Thank you."

[polariity]

In return, there's just a gurgling sort of noise that can't quite be words and he leans into her again. He's suddenly aware of just how exhausted he really is. Facing reality, it seems, takes a lot out of a troll.

Right now, all he wants to do is just lay against her.