Zuko (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
daughterofursa) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
thebastion2014-12-05 10:57 pm
daughterofursa) wrote in thebastion2014-12-05 10:57 pm
Entry tags:
Day 256 [Open]
Who: Zuko and anyone
Open: Open!
When: Day 256, evening
Where: By the lake
What: A failure to meditate
Format: I'll match
Warnings: Honor
Zuko knows she's always been hard on herself, but she's never really considered it to be too hard. But some of the things people have been saying about her... Well, people in the Bastion have always expressed a more positive view of her than she thinks she deserves, and she always figured it was because they don't know what she's come from, but she's finally starting to wonder. Maybe the flawed perspective is her own.
Which is why she is attempting something else which, like positive thinking, she is not very good at: meditating. Whoever really wants to can find her by the lake, sitting cross-legged with her eyes closed and... definitely scowling more than she ought to be.
Open: Open!
When: Day 256, evening
Where: By the lake
What: A failure to meditate
Format: I'll match
Warnings: Honor
Zuko knows she's always been hard on herself, but she's never really considered it to be too hard. But some of the things people have been saying about her... Well, people in the Bastion have always expressed a more positive view of her than she thinks she deserves, and she always figured it was because they don't know what she's come from, but she's finally starting to wonder. Maybe the flawed perspective is her own.
Which is why she is attempting something else which, like positive thinking, she is not very good at: meditating. Whoever really wants to can find her by the lake, sitting cross-legged with her eyes closed and... definitely scowling more than she ought to be.
no subject
[To help her, that is. She's sure he can meditate on his own just fine.]
no subject
[He settles into place, tattered wings rustling slightly.]
How have you been taught? I know many have different methods of meditation.
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[But the time limit on that ability is not conducive to relaxing.]
I've been trying to just concentrate on my breathing. But every time I try to think about what I came here for, my mind goes in too many directions.
no subject
I have found that to work just as well... And it has made my own flames all the stronger for it. What it means to me, what it means to all. I can give you the advice I once gave to a dear companion, if you would want it.
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Sure. Let's hear it.
no subject
"In your tongue, the Word simply means ‘Fire.’ It is change given form. Power at its most primal. That is the true meaning of ‘Yol.’ Suleyk. Power. You have it, as do all dov. But power is inert without action and choice. Think of this as the fire builds in your su’um, in your breath. Su’um ahrk morah. What will you burn? What will you spare?"
I believe that was it, word for word. There were other things I told them, but their connections are to other words and not fire.
no subject
[All of that is something she needs to direct inward. The power to change herself, the decision to leave behind certain ways of thinking about herself.
It doesn't keep her from acting, it doesn't keep her from making choices about the world around her, but...]
If you can't- change the way you think about something, then you're just stagnating, right? I mean, if it needs to change, and you know it does.
no subject
Sometimes, parts of a forest must be burned down. In the new earth, clear of obstacles and the heat forcing things to emerge that not normally would have, new things can grow.
It is much like that, I imagine.
no subject
...
People keep telling me, it doesn't matter what I did before. I haven't hurt anyone here. But the person who did all those things, is still inside me somewhere. I can't just forget that.
[But how does she find balance with it?]
no subject
I understand this very well. [Paarthurnax has made no secret of his past to anyone who has asked, after all. He will not lie about himself.] It can be difficult for others to truly understand when the only aspect of yourself they are familiar with is that which they see in the now.
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That doesn't mean what they see is wrong, though. I mean, I try to be a good person. It's just not what I see when I look at myself.
That's... not right either.
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The key is to understand that often, despite how some may say it is not so, things that are contradictory often exist alongside one another in the same place and in the same people. You and I can easily become cruel as much as we are often kind.
Yet it is because we know we have been cruel that we are kind.
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I never thought of it that way.
[Maybe her being a good person was better informed by her understanding of the effect that being a bad person had had. She'd been a kid before everything that happened, but maybe if it hadn't, she wouldn't really get how important it was not to do those things.]
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Does it assist you at all?
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Thank you.
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Su'um ahrk morah.
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We all are.
You're probably better at realizing that stuff than I am, but maybe it's good to hear, too.