[ Not just a big request, a cruel one. Guilt eats at him like worms at a corpse, crawling through his heart and stripping away layer after layer of pride and conviction. The pain is terrible, worse than anything he's ever experienced both physically and emotionally, and now Kaoru is asking him to do the impossible?
Yet when had he ever denied the boy? Why would now be any better time to start than all the other opportunities? There was never a good reason to hurt the ones you loved and if it meant helping Kaoru hold on long enough for his cure, couldn't the onmyoji live a little longer? It was already the worst suffering he'd ever endured, so what would it matter it he took it a little longer?
He can't speak, he can barely open his eyes and his bones feel like dry twigs strained to the point of snapping, but he twitches pale fingers against Kaoru's. He may be too weak to grasp firmly, but he tries with what he has left to promise.
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Yet when had he ever denied the boy? Why would now be any better time to start than all the other opportunities? There was never a good reason to hurt the ones you loved and if it meant helping Kaoru hold on long enough for his cure, couldn't the onmyoji live a little longer? It was already the worst suffering he'd ever endured, so what would it matter it he took it a little longer?
He can't speak, he can barely open his eyes and his bones feel like dry twigs strained to the point of snapping, but he twitches pale fingers against Kaoru's. He may be too weak to grasp firmly, but he tries with what he has left to promise.
He'll hold on.
For now. ]