thebastion | Day 72

[ Seimei blinked several times, leaning back slightly as he was blasted by the red-haired youth. eventually given a moment of respite, Seimei gestures towards the oldest hen. ]

Because she told me so? She is the oldest and the highest ranking. She is the leader. Not the mother of all of the chicks, but the mother hen nonetheless. There is always a leader. And you should be more respectful. She may not understand you, but your behavior and language are fairly clear to any animal. I can speak to all creatures, large or small, and it is my honor to do so. So I have spoken with the chickens and explained the situation.

Insofar as the egg goes, I do not know what a dinosaur or Godzilla is, but if you give me a moment to touch it, I can at least tell you what I sense from it. If it is cursed, if it is alive, whether it is male or female or something else. I can tell you whether it is a benevolent or malevolent entity. However, very few things are born evil. Still, it never hurts to be certain. Unless you would rather make those determinations on your own. I am given to understand that new parents can be very protective of their young.

[ The onmyoji chuckles, arching a brow slowly at Kaoru. ]

[Kaoru definitely feels like he`s being told off and he`s trying very hard not to pout in reaction to it. He didn`t mean to offend anyone! But everything is still new to him and he doesn`t quite get that people have abilities beyond the average; beyond the physical skills that people work at. And now Rin has abandoned him and Seimei`s giving him that raised eyebrow look and he`s never cared for an animal before in his life]

Um... Godzilla is like... like a giant lizard monster. Dinosaurs too, actually... [ugh. He hates this. When he just says stuff for the sake of having something to say. He bites his lip, then holds the egg out a little uncertainly.]

...please.

Giant lizards I can understand. Like dragons, I suppose?

[ He noted the distressed expressions and uncomfortable posturing, making a mental list and reminding himself to be more careful, especially with the younger members of the Bastion, considering they were more socially fragile. ]

My apologies. I sometimes forget that not everyone is able to understand beasts as I do.

[ That wasn't true. he never really forgot, but it seemed the thing to say, to soothe Kaoru's ego. No one liked being chastised, even in a friendly way. clearing his throat and setting the crate of chickens down, Seimei raises his hand and presses it firmly but gently to the outside of the shell, eyes drifting closed as he focuses on the energy within, pressing the fingers of his free hand to hips lips and chanting quietly. ]

[Well, yeah, like dragons except dragons aren`t real... are they?

He watches Seimei for a time, not sure whether it`s okay to interrupt, he gives it about thirty awkward seconds.]

...well...?

[ Withdrawing his hand with a soft sigh and smile, Seimei inclines his head and picks up the crate once more. ]

It is as most unborn things are - without inclination. Predisosed to no sort of alignment. It is, however, female. Whatever "it" is. I suppose it will be an exciting surprise. You should begin thinking of names, I believe. Unless you are not interested in taking responsibility?
The chickens assure me that is does not belong to them, so as far as I can tell, the egg is currently an orphan. It does not need to be, however. Provided someone is willing to take responsibility.

[ The onmyoji grins slightly, arching a dark brow and pointing towards the coops. ]

If we are quite finished and the area is thoroughly searched, we should head back to the Bastion. I should like to get the chickens settled in properly. Perhaps near where I am going to be building my new house?

I... have no idea what to do with it. [he holds the egg to himself. If this size is anything to go by it - she - is going to be at least the size of a large kitten once she's hatched. He has no idea how what it's going to be, never mind how it's going to grow. It's hardly a little chick, at least if it were, he'd be able to figure out how it would turn out. What if it outgrows his little apartment?

And again with the assuming he will adopt it. Though admittedly, he is wavering.]

I.. I don't know how to keep it warm without an incubator. Or what to feed it when it hatches.

What if I screw up?

[Well, you were looking for a distraction, Kaoru. Now you have it.]

You could ask the chickens for advice. But honestly, they wouldn't have been able to incubate it either. I would just suggest keeping it with you, and keeping it in your bed when you sleep. Usually eggs have to be turned at least once a day so the creature inside develops properly. Beyond that, I suppose just hope for the best. I can write a spell to keep it warm even when you don't have it with you, if that will help?

[ By this point Seimei is simply amused, watching Kaoru stammer and fret needlessly. It wasn't as if he or someone else wouldn't help the boy with the egg. Still, it was funny to see him frantic over something so small. He paces the coop area checking for any strays and supplies, using the twine he found to bind a bit of wood and roll of wire as well, carrying the crate is his arms and the wood and wire over a shoulder. ]

Come along, Hitachiin-san. This is all a bit heavy, and we have a ways to go.

[Ask... the chickens... for advice...?] S-Seimei-san, like I said before I don't have the skills you do. I wouldn't know where to begin, never mind what to say.

[Alas for poor Kaoru, he is a chronic overthinker.] And, and what if I squish it when I sleep? Or knock it off the bed? What if it breaks, what then? [he is, of course, completely ignoring the fact that he has never been a particularly flaily sleeper, even if he could manage a full night's sleep in the Bastion anyway. Naturally, he is working off the assumption that he will develop this particular habit at the worst possible time. Of course, this is just his luck. He couldn't have started out with a nice, normal-sized egg but oh no, he ended up with this giant, black mystery egg instead...] [he hurries to catch up with Seimei, still fretting out loud] I don't know what it's going to be, or what I'm supposed to do for it when- -

[he trails off, falling into step beside him. Glances down at the egg in his arms, and then back at his companion]

...Seimei-san, are you laughing at me?

((Oh my goodness all the fails in the last post, I'm sorry. I'm only an English teacher...))

Edited 2013-06-03 12:22 (UTC)

No, Hitachiin-san, I am merely amused at the curious situation we find ourselves in. [ Not entirely true, not entirely false. He didn't mean anything malicious by it at least. ]

I know you can't understand then, Kaoru, but it never hurts to ask them politely, or at least be respectful of them and ask someone else who does understand, right? Imagine you are in another country where you are the only one that speaks your language and people are talking around you, talking -about- you but not trying to talk -to- you. Imagine how you would feel?

[ He smiles softly at Kaoru, again wishing he could comfort someone better than he did. ]

Unless you hit it particularly hard you should be fine, and natural instinct tends to keep you from doing anything damaging anyways. Lay it in the bed next to you. The warming spell I will right will soothe you as well. It will help you sleep more deeply. You should worry less about that...and why does it matter what its going to be? Why discriminate against a child not even yet born?

[that doesn't really appease him. He's still a bit miffed over it all, and that's definitely a pout on his face as he follows along, mainly keeping an eye on the egg in his arms]

But that's just it, Seimei-san. If I don't know what it is, I don't know whether I should be preparing a comfy little bed for it when it hatches, or a perch by the window, or a terrarium, or an aquarium or... or some other kind of -arium, I don't know.

[puff up his cheeks and blows out a breath, hesitates, then adds,] ...but I'll try to keep your advice in mind. When dealing with other animals in the future.

Look at it this way, if you did not know what your child was - a boy or girl - what would you do? Would you buy two different kinds of toy or clothing and discard what you didn't need later? No, you would simply prepare for what you were certain of - an arriving child.

Just work on the basics, and when you know more, go from there. You can assume it will be a baby, most likely a bird or reptile. Keep it warm, and when it hatches, we will work together to figure out the rest. You are not alone, Hitachiin-san. You have friends.

[ The onmyoji sighs and smiles faintly, shaking his head as they walk, heading back to the Bastion. ]

[...he would, actually. Money is no object to these Hitachiins and if it were a human baby, he would in fact be buying ALL the baby clothes. He opens his mouth to start protesting again but - - well, Seimei's kind of covered it all, really. There's no need for Kaoru to keep going round in circles. He breathes another sigh, this one not as explosive as the last one]

...right. So. Basics. Start by keeping it warm. Turn it every so often. Try not to panic.

Is that a good start?

The best start. [ The onmyoji chuckles and shakes his head. ] Your distress is not so much about the egg, is it. You are adjusting to your surroundings, you are displaced and confused. It is all a lot to process and you are fretting because you do not know what else to do. So, why not focus on this for now? Let everything else fall into place, you just distract yourself with the here and now.

Right now, you've only got this to worry about. If it is a helpless animal, you have to take care of it and by association, yourself. If you are not well, you cannot take care of the hatchling. If it is indeed a monster, then we will figure things out from there. If it can be wrangled or rehabilitated, I and the others will help you.

Meanwhile, taking on this responsibility shows to the others that you are adjusting, that you are collecting your wits and they do not have to worry about you. You will not be a risk or a hazard. That is important to you, is it not? To prove to yourself and others that you are strong enough for this?

[He stops in his tracks because he has been completely and utterly floored by everything that Seimei has said. Not one part of it is incorrect; therefore none of it is contradictable. Ordinarily they would have attacked for the sake of attacking – you breached our defenses, we’ll breach yours - or argued back in an effort to bolster their own. It’s much easier for two people to talk one person into silence. But Kaoru’s not with Hikaru anymore, and he fears that any falsehood he attempts to construct will be quickly demolished with another arch of those eyebrows of Seimei’s.

Since arriving in this place, he has never wanted to be seen as weak, or in need of assistance. He’s sixteen, he’s not a child, nor is he the only one to have been thrown into this situation. All of them have. He is not special in any regard. And since throwing himself on the floor and tantrumming like a child until he is returned home is out of the question, he has had to turn his efforts to dealing with this.

He seems to be making a decent fist of it, or at least that’s how he hopes it seems. He hates the idea that he might cause people to worry about him... but in reality, it feels as though he is barely keeping his head above water.

Then there is the second issue of forming connections – any connections – in this place. He learned a long time ago that anyone outside of his close family could – would – hurt him, and he and Hikaru had wound up becoming the most bratty children and callous teenagers simply because they didn’t want to be hurt. Simply because they knew that the best prevention was to hurt Them first. Joining the host club had helped him grow out of that thinking, but the suspicion remained deep, and transformed into a fear of being left behind. Because although not all people have bad intentions, it still hurts when they leave. He’s dealing with that pain even now. And maybe that’s part of the reason he’s so worried about it. He doesn’t want to open himself up to that all over again. He’s scared of it.

All this and he has absolutely no idea what to say to Seimei in response to all that. He’s not sure how he’s supposed to react. So he swallows, and bows his head slightly.]

I... I understand. Thank you, Seimei-san.

[ The onmyoji pauses, looking at Kaoru in thoughtful silence before nodding and rolling a shoulder towards the Bastion. ]

You are always welcome, Hitachiin-san. I understand what it is to feel out of place and lost in the tide of what everyone else seems to handle better than oneself. I felt very much the way you do now, before I even got here. Where I am from - or when, I should say - I lived under constant suspicion and all of my actions were questioned, regardless of how skilled or qualified I was.

To have people constantly scrutinizing you is stifling. It is an enormous relief to shrug off that burden. I will miss many things, and some people, but I will not miss their stares and whispers. So, in order for you to escape stares and whispers in this place, you must learn to adapt, and convince others to look elsewhere out of concern. You can convince them you are strong and adult and well within your ability to move without supervision usually restricted to children.

[ He turns, continuing to walk, though he keeps his pace comfortably ponderous for Kaoru to catch up and follow alongside. ]

And in those times when you question your ability to hold on, or feel you cannot carry the weight of grief or loss or fear or loneliness, I invite you to come to me. I cannot speak for others. I can assure you, however, that you will never find judgment when speaking to me. You will find understanding, and I will always be willing to console or comfort you. I do not mind if that is my role...I may need consolation myself, at times.

[the egg remains cradled against Kaoru’s chest, his head still bowed. He’s not sure what else to do to show his gratitude. In the beginning, he had thought to some degree that turning to anyone else would mean turning his back on Hikaru, on home, on everything else. He had tried going it alone and it simply wasn’t working out as he wanted.

He wanted to be brave, but that didn’t mean he had to be foolish. The two were easily confusable but it was entirely possible to have one without the other. And with bravery, strength would come.]

Thank you, Seimei-san. [he repeats it again anyway, even though he sounds like a broken record. He’s never really confided in anyone other than Hikaru. It’s kind of a big deal.]

And I may screw up sometimes but I also- - [He lifts his head... only to find that the onmyoji has already moved along.]

S-Seimei-san, wait for me!

[ Chuckling softly to himself, Seimei continues with sure strides, listening idly to the chicks chirping at one another in his sleeves. Arching one of those ever expressive brows, the onmyoji tilts an ear towards Kaoru. ]

Remember, Hitachiin-san! When you want people to see strength, you smile. No matter how you feel inside, a casual manner and cocky smile allays most fears. sometimes, even your own.

[Kaoru's pretty much caught up and is following along a step or so behind.]

I haven't felt much like smiling lately. But I'm good at it! I'm sure I'll manage. [He still finds it slightly hilarious-slash-adorable that Seimei's sleeves are still cheeping, and that has a smile from him already. Kaoru's a sucker for cute things.]

Ah, and just Kaoru is fine, Seimei-san, if you're comfortable with it. I don't mind.

Hm... [ The onmyoji smiles faintly, staring forward as they walk, his expression thoughtful. Eventually he nods in agreement. ]

Then you may just call me Seimei.

[Kaoru's a strange one. He's a pretty international kind of guy, so he's pretty used to addressing people by first name... but when it comes to Seimei it feels a bit weird for some reason. He rubs the egg absently with one hand]

...please remind me if I forget. I might still tag the "-san" back on out of habit.

You may call me however you feel most comfortable. I will no doubt forget as well. It is rare for me to relax honorifics. I have only ever done so for one person in my life...

[ He sighs softly, gazing forward and shifting the weight of the crate in his hands. ]

I suppose I should be relieved that I was always isolated from others. At least I had less to lose than some people.

[Oh. That's how it is. But then Kaoru supposes it's a little different with Seimei being from the far and distant past and all.] [Kaoru casts him a sidelong glance]

...less to lose in general, or in coming here?

I'm not sure... [He pauses in thought, then shakes his head and continues. ] Less to lose at all. I lived alone, in an estate tended very rarely. I had no servants, no family, and no friends save one. I was not welcome in polite society because people were afraid of me, and I did not even live inside the walls of the capitol, as other onmyoji did. I lived on the outskirts. My only company, most of the time, was a butterfly, and shikigami, when I chose to summon them.

Ah... Mmm. [He's not sure quite what to say. He feels like it would be really presumptuous of him to comment when he knows next to nothing about Seimei who, by the way, is so wise and all-knowing that he feels even more like the kid over here. He’s holding onto the little bits of information he gets thrown, though.]

We… [he does this thing, sometimes, where he starts speaking in the plural when he talks about the past. He hasn’t spoken much at all about Hikaru since he came to the Bastion, but this is a force of habit.] I guess we were lucky in that although our family wasn’t always there… they were always around, if that makes sense. Very lucky, considering what brats we were. But it was still lonely, even with there being two of us.

[he looks away again, another pout forming on his lips]

I can’t imagine how it would have been to be all alone, though.

[ He smiles faintly, arching a brow and nodding as he listens. Seimei himself never - NEVER - talks about his past or private life. Here, however, in this place where nothing of life before seems to matter, what point was there in being secretive? There was no parallel world of demons hiding from human prejudice that he had to protect, no abnormality, great or small, that would matter to this motley crew. And talking felt better than being quiet, especially when the young man seemed to -need- to talk. About anything. ]

That is alright...Kaoru. [Saying the red-head's name sans honorific felt so terribly inappropriate...but he tries.] I sympathize with the loss of your family. I lost mine at a very young age, but... [He trails off for a moment, uncertain, before continuing with marked hesitation. ] Well, suffice to say it was my own fault.

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