thebastion | Day 91 | log

Entry tags:

Day 91 | log | [CLOSED]

Who: Kaoru Hitachiin (

individuates ), Abe no Seimei (

yinyangfox )
Open: Closed
When: Day 91
Where: Seimei's pad
What: Bribing Seimei with cake.
Format: Log
Warnings: None! Just two guys eating cake.

Kaoru had to admit it. As dubious as he had been in the beginning about Seimei’s little house, once all its walls were erected, and its insides (mostly) furnished… it actually hadn’t turned out so bad.

He could give himself a pat on the back for some of the work, too. Not that he had sourced all the wood himself. Or lacquered it. Or fit it together in a house-shape. But he had slaved away on the furnishings, which had definitely helped with the effort. He had managed to figure out how to quilt blankets from his scraps – they were easy – but he had no idea how to make a futon other than to sew together his blankets. Which was precisely what he did.

Well it was the best he could do, with the resources at his disposal. In hindsight, he could have just bought one with shards and saved himself the trouble, but never mind. He had delivered the futons the previous day – if Seimei had had a terrible night’s sleep on them, he could always run back to the Monument and buy real ones.

He had finally made his first purchase from the Monument with the shards he had been holding onto – a small strawberry shortcake and forks and plates to eat it with. Nothing as grand as they had eaten or used at the host club – and not antique either, or if they were, certainly not antiques he recognized. But they looked good and, really, they were fit for purpose. And the cake smelled simply heavenly.

So with the bag of cake in one hand and one hand resting on Tama-chan slung across his chest, he started down to Seimei’s. The egg had been rocking since a few days ago, tapping sounds coming from within. Perhaps it would hatch soon – until then, Kaoru was keeping a careful eye out.

He stepped into the small gardens around Seimei’s house, raising the bag and giving a bright, slightly teasing smile.

“Sei-chan~!”

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"It's going to be great, believe me. If all else fails I'll make sure there are plenty of sweet things. Like different cakes. Oh, and chocolate. You can keep busy trying new foods."

As Seimei turned out to the garden, Kaoru looked down at the egg in his lap, rubbing the shell gently.

"And who know, maybe this one will be almost ready to come out by that time."

He couldn't help ducking his head and chuckling about Seimei's comment, repeating it quietly to himself and Tama-chan. "Appealing to others...?"

"Yes. You are more sociable, more...modern; which many of the inhabitants of the Bastion are. At the very least you are more forgiving. I do not take kindly to derision."

He sniffed faintly, reaching up to tuck a strand of hair that had come loose from the top knot to rest behind one ear.

"You are younger and more charming by far. Socially you are more fluid. There are many things I will do in order to court you in a way you find acceptable, including making minor changes to myself. However I will not change myself for others and I see no reason to simply accept when others are disrespectful. And I am not going to make myself available to those with no interest in forming friendships. These are simple facts."

"I think there are those who want to make friendships though. And there are people still coming in. Some may need the guidance that you can give."

Such as himself. Losing Hikaru, all his friends, it had all been too sudden and jarring for him to get through properly on his own. "...I really don't think I would be doing so well without your help. I never really thanked you for that..."

He rested his chin lightly on top of the egg, considering carefully.

"But... have I ever disrespected you in some way? Or... or what if I did? Or if I did without knowing that I did?"

He paused, thinking about the question for several moments before tilting his head to regard Kaoru thoughtfully.

"I believe you would know. You are more empathetic than most and you have a natural sort of tact, normally. You sometimes say things that I find...vexing, but you have yet to say anything disrespectful. Other people do not care about how they speak to others, and in the end their lives are poorer for it. Courtesy is a currency paid as an investment. Some people pay and enjoy the future, some people squander what they have and find themselves needy later on, begging for the scraps offered by better men."

Clearing his throat and looking back to the garden, the onmyoji lifted his tea to sip before adding, "And if you did so, and it was on accident, you would apologize were it brought to your attention. You are better than most people, Kaoru, and we are from worlds apart. I cannot fault you your foibles when are so considerate of mine."

"Sometimes I overstep boundaries without realising it, though." He hummed softly, biting his lip. "...the thing is that you don't know how bad we were. We didn't care at all about others. To be honest, they were just toys to us and we could throw them aside once we were done with them. Because they were... I don't know, 'Not-Us', it didn't matter what we did to them." A quiet sigh, chased by the admission - "...we changed a lot over the past year or so, but it doesn't change the fact that we hurt a lot of people."

He had always understood people a lot better than Hikaru did. Did that make him the bad one, then, for knowing what they were doing and still allowing it to continue?

"...I do try not to vex people all the time. Just tease them gently..." Vexing was never a good thing. "...how is it that I vex you?"

"I imagine I know precisely how bad you were. You forget that I deal in demons and that I observe humanity from a distance, avoiding them as much as possible. And you forget that I was a child once, and that I hated everything and everyone around me."

He smirked faintly, shifting his weight and resting his hands on his knees.

"I felt isolated from the rest of the world, too different to be part of anything; everyone was an enemy. An outsider to my private world. And you forget that I am half kitsune. Were I any less human, I would be a capricious and often spiteful creature, completely self absorbed and interested only in my own personal amusement. Children are children, Kaoru. No one ever has to apologize for being one. They simply have to make up for it when they grow out of it."

Sighing deeply and straightening his back, the onmyoji took a moment to side-eye the red-head.

"Vexing. Oh...why do we not leave it at the natural complications we face under our unique circumstances?"

Kaoru's cup had been raised to his mouth as if to drink, but he didn't - not while Seimei was speaking. He continued to hold it in both hands as he listened.

Seimei's story was almost identical to his own - discounting the half-kitsune part. Even so, he couldn't quite accept that Seimei had been as bad as he made out. Nor could he accept that Seimei had any notion of how difficult a child Kaoru had been. But arguing the point was useless - instead of protesting, he took a sip of his tea to silence himself.

"...do you think Tama-chan's going to be just as difficult? Just as vexing?"

"Children often are. Whether she is sentient or not, she will no doubt be trouble and you will face your pitfalls in raising her. The only thing you can do is be the best parent or owner as possible. Give her love without reservation, encourage healthy growth and teach her morals and value that she can understand. Whatever she is, I will be able to speak with her an--....you know it only just occurred to me that my ability to speak with animals is magical in nature. I wonder if it is something that could be taken and learned from the Bastion per shards in some way?"

He paused, shaking his head and dismissing the thought to go back on point.

"What I mean to say is, if she has the capacity for human understanding, teach her to be good, and teach her why. If she has an animal mentality, reward her for good behavior, keep her mind distracted with tasks and promote higher function reasoning skills. In the end, Kaoru, no one will fault you for her behavior. We are all just as lost as you in this."

"...it sure would be great if I could talk to her..." He rubbed the surface of the egg lightly, tracing over one of the splotches with his fingertip. "I'll have to see how much she understands from me first, though and take it from there."

He cocked his head to one side, looking Seimei up and down as if appraising him. How would he fit into Tama-chan's little family? Rin-chan had already taken the position of aunt, so what would that make Seimei?

"I may have to think about taking her outside, depending on what she is. I don't know how big she'll grow, but she'll need some space to roam..."

"That's true enough. And you'll have no shortage of people to go with. Plus the areas closest the Bastion are relatively safe, even for casual explorers. I would never hesitate to accompany you, Kaoru. I doubt many other people would, either."

He caught the look, offering a questioning expression in response but saying nothing as he looked away over the garden once more.

"I will help you in whatever capacity you need. You are not alone, Kaoru. Not in this, not in anything else."

At Seimei's look, Kaoru couldn't help but laugh, rubbing the back of his head apologetically.

"Sorry, sorry. I just... I don't know I guess I'm kind of putting together Tama-chan's Bastion family and was wondering how you'd fit into it. I guess technically speaking I'm the mother - there's no helping that..."

A little seriousness came creeping into his expression though and he lowered his head, still a little soft, a little fond,

"...I know. I know I'm not. Thank you."

A faint dusting of color crept out from Seimei's collar, but he said nothing about Tama-chan's makeshift family. Where he fit in was up to Kaoru and Tama-chan, he supposed. He had no business making suggestions that would be tasteless anyways.

Nodding in reply to Kaoru's thanks, they eventually left each other in companionable silence, the onmyoji's gaze distant, longing for a breeze to shake the leaves, the sound of birdsong, the patter and peaty smell of rain.

"This world seems so...stagnant. I wonder if it will ever be a real world or if we are doomed to silently drift, no matter how how large this place becomes?" he mused aloud, eventually looking down into his teacup.

"I miss the rain," He admitted quietly, looking out over Seimei's garden. "I miss watching it. I miss sitting by our window and reading while the rain fell outside. But if it ever rains here I might just stand outside and enjoy it, just in case it never comes again."

Not just the rain. Breezes through open windows. The feeling of stepping out of the cold into the warm. It should have almost been December - or at least he roughly guessed so, from the day he arrived. Yet he was still dressing like it was early autumn.

"This world may be a little stagnant, but that doesn't mean the rest of us have to be." His gaze slid over to the onmyoji before calmly drifting back outside again. "There are other ways to shake things up. For instance I'd love to know what it was you thought that made you colour up like that, though I doubt you'd tell me."

Edited (Past fricking tense ._.) 2013-08-07 07:47 (UTC)

"Hm..." the onmyoji smiled slowly, imagining the red head in Kyoto during a warm rain, standing in his old overgrown garden in Heian fashion. He had to snort a soft laugh when he couldn't imagine Kaoru in the more common dull colors of masculine fabrics. Florals and bright summer and spring colors were all he could see. He had a sudden urge to paint and shook his head in amusement.

"You want to creep into my head and now all the good and ill, but what do you propose in return, Kaoru? I am not a flower, blooming and opening myself to others despite the risk of exposure. Am i not allowed my secrets?"

He chuckled softly, turning to face Seimei fully with a smile.

"Your secrets are your own. I would never dream of making you give up anything you were unwilling to part with. But if it is an exchange you're suggesting what would you accept in return?" He breathed one of his musical 'host club' sighs, raising his hands. "Aaaaaa. Alas that I only have to offer what I can create with these two hands of mine..."

Tilting his head and arching a brow, the onmyoji finally shifted in his seat, turning entirely to face Kaoru. Reaching to pick up his fan, he held it out to his companion and inclined his head.

"Take it. Otherwise I fear I will give in to weakness and retreat."

Huffing a sigh and arching a brow, he rested his hands on his knees. Eyes closed and cheeks rosy, Seimei twitched his head in a small nod.

"I was imagining a domestic family setting. with I as lord of the estate and you my companion helping to raise an heir."

Kaoru accepted the fan with his raised hands, sitting back to listen carefully.

He was dying to laugh in delight, but his own soft huff of an exhale through his nose was the closest he came to it. No laughing. He didn't want to gave the wrong impression or scare Seimei away. But he still smiled, hands closing around the fan a little.

"...I certainly can't object to that. Though it is a very small estate. And a highly unusual heir."

"I was not imagining us here. I was imagining us in Kyoto. I was still in standing with the court. I was able to give you the world and we were raising a son that would inherit my name. I was introducing you to my mother. You were in the finest fashion money could buy. You were happy..."

He trailed off, eyes still closed. It was almost as effective as hiding behind the fan. More so in some ways. Without seeing Kaoru's expression Seimei didn't have to fear the effect of what he said.

"I was able to make you happy."

"...I don't want the world."

He leaned just a little forward, thankful for Seimei's closed eyes, thankful that he couldn't see his blush, though he would have heard Kaoru's voice shake a little. It was nice to hear him say it, if a little unexpected. "...I'm quite happy with just you."

He smiled in spite of himself, eyes remaining closed, though his tension relaxed some as he uttered a long sigh of relief.

At least Kaoru didn't condemn him.

"You have me. you have all of me, whenever you should want it or need it. I only wish that I were in a position to give you more. You would have liked walking the royal grounds when the trees blossomed. The summer festivals. To seasons changing in the garden. I like to imagine those things, when I am troubled and alone. Dreaming of you accompanying me, in halcyon days."

Kaoru's lips parted to speak, but he simply couldn't muster a response. Instead he leant in - quickly, before he had a chance to override himself, before Seimei had a chance to open his eyes - and kissed Seimei on the cheek. Not low enough to be too intimate; certainly shy but not so hurried as to be throwaway or impersonal. Or at least he hoped not. Every second felt like a lifetime when his heart was hammering in his chest like that.

His own heart had been a steady thud, calm enough, since the admittance had been more cathartic than alarming or stressful. That changed when lips touched his cheek.
Something so chaste might have only amused someone else but for Seimei it was considerably more personal. His space was actively invaded and for a gesture that was really impossible to mistake for anything other than what it was. His heart skipped and lashes rose from his cheeks as dark eyes flicked open and rolled to fix on Kaoru's face.
In that moment he didn't even think about his tessen. Even if it had been in his hands he wouldn't have had the presence of mind to open it.

He raised a hand, sleeve sliding away from where it tended to conceal his palms, and moved to touch the red heads's face only to curl his fingers closed at the last moment. Regardless of Kaoru's leap forward Seimei was unwilling to push, though he obviously wanted more for all that he was politely distant and delicate; in that moment his younger companion could see past the veil of courtesy to someone who was emotional, lonely and not nearly so bland as he presented himself.

Searchign Kaoru's face for several moments, panicked thoughts rushing behind his gaze as he tried to figure out what to do that would neither push too far or seem like he was pulling away or dissatisfied in some way, the onmyoji at last chewed his bottom lip and leaned forward. A little push off the floor to give him more leverage - was Kaoru taller than him? He hadn't noticed before - and he pressed his lips gently against the boy's forehead, lingering a few seconds before pulling away and sitting back down.

For once, he wasn't blushing. No, instead he was pale and wide-eyed and under the distinct impression he was about to find out exactly what being slapped felt like.

...it was moments like this he missed Hikaru the most. The moment between him sitting back and Seimei reciprocating, the almost agonising wait, because although he knew how Seimei felt, Kaoru had never quite believed it, at least not until the onmyoji had leaned in to kiss him back, albeit just as chastely.

Then and there, all his worry, all his caution faded, and he was hopelessly lost.

He lifted one slightly trembling hand, almost mirroring the motion Seimei made, but gently, softly running his knuckles along the onmyoji's cheek. With the other, he carefully pushed the fan back across the floor towards Seimei - who well and truly had Kaoru's permission to use it, even if he didn't say it in as many words.

He allowed the touch, though his skin was chilled beneath it and his throat worked hard to swallow against the dryness therein. eyes tilting down at the scrape of the fan on the floor, he reached to pick it up, only to leave it in his lap.
Pulling the fan open slowly, each fold a rasp and click sounding off the seconds where no words were spoken, the onmyoji finally closed it completely and set it aside once more. Heat at last rose to his cheeks, color trickling in to banish the previously unhealthy pallor. At least he didn't feel quite like fainting anymore.
It took a moment longer for the frozen surprise to relax from his face enough to allow the flutter of an arrogant smile.

"Heh...I...knew you would eventually fail to resist my elegant charms," he fairly croaked, oblivious to how obvious it was that his usual confidence had fled, along with his ability to conjure witty repartee.

Kaoru couldn't resist a burst of slightly nervous laughter, leaning forward slightly and wrapping his arms around Tama-chan, trying to get himself under control.

"...do you even realise how not elegant you sound right now?! You sound like I mortally wounded you!"

Well, they still had a little cake left. Cake could fix a lot of things.

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