Black★Rock Shooter (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
darkshooter) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
thebastion2015-07-26 07:42 am
darkshooter) wrote in thebastion2015-07-26 07:42 am
Entry tags:
Day 333 ★ 004 ★ [Open]
Who: Ikuri and anyone who wants to encounter her.
Open: [Y]
When: Day 333 [backdated] - Dusk
Where: Several places within the Bastion. Pick your location when you tag in: fresh from nightmare haze, she .
What: Nearly two weeks after the tragedy, Ikuri still gets nightmares.
Format: Action brackets because habits
Warnings:
-Jumpy, sloppy prose of purple, particularly as I'm slammin' this out before work.
-Sol Man is a dork who's terrible at this RP thing.
-Nightmares and body horror.
-Text wall.
Note: The Bastion's calming field will prevent assault and outright aggression, but odds are she's still going to be jumpy and jittery.
(( Preface ))
[She saw them again.]
[The faces of those long gone. People she'd known and loved...or perhaps, more properly to say, known and longed for; while the emotions of hers that reached for them and were touched by them could be somewhere close to love, she'd not the chance to truly know such a thing. But how she'd wanted it - how she craved it, even now! How dearly she wished that they weren't dead, that she could reach for them anew and pretend nothing that took them...]
[...could ever happen...]
(( BGM: The Bastion - Ikuri's Dread [Final Fantasy VII: Those Chosen by the Planet- [Shinra Mansion Version] ))
[And then she saw the black sky above her: the void that threatened to pull her from her feet and tear her away from the world, the hunger that she knew lay in wait. She felt the icy touch, the emptiness of bone, pressing against her skin and face: the one skeletal finger just a little close to her eye.]
[She saw Dead Master, now truly dead: on the outside, appearing as Ikuri had always known her, but in her eyes...in there, something that came from the void of the sky: kin and yet not kin. The Dead Master that was here, only barely held together: Black★Rock Shooter knew, because Master wanted her to know, that within the latter lay a mass of writhing worms - that she was infected, yet animate, and the parts of her that still feel, felt hatred towards Shooter (though it was a dull thing), for the events of their prior meeting - for being burned away into nothing.]
[What was left of her hated Shooter, hated her profoundly, for taking Yomi from her. She had wanted to human too, once - not any longer. Now there was only the void, controlling every action like a puppet and string, governed solely by hunger.]
[And then she pressed closer still, the flesh peeling away to reveal a skull.]
**
[...Crona.]
[The body riddled by arrows. Shooter moved to protect her, to shield her - but it was over. Dead before the instinct to protect had even beckoned.]
[She saw a broken body, saw the eyes looking blankly back at her. The skin peeled back of its own accord, slowly, revealing flesh - revealing what could only live again one other way. Crona's face became Dead Master's, smiling back.]
**
[And the vision came again and again.]
**
[The fifth time, the person in the clearing was Mato. Ikuri clenched her head, screaming in defiance, but Mato's voice came out of her.]
**
[No. No, no, no -- Mato wasn't there. Mato hadn't died here. Mato was...]
[...Mato had died in the Calamity. Zuko's words; all of the knowledge Ikuri had learned here, claiming that only certain of those amongst each world had been saved. Dead Master, Strength...Matagi...and Gold Saw. They were all truly gone. Now there was truly no hope of saving them.]
[You...are all that's left.]
[I am carried within you, and I will blossom.]
**
[...Ibuki's body, riddled with electricity. Ibuki, pierced by arrows, blood pouring freely from her mouth.]
[Ikuri jumped toward her dearest friend to save her. The black blade pierced her instead. It wasn't enough. She had to be saved.]
[Even as the flesh peeled back, even as the horror crawled from Ibuki's mouth, opening wider than it should, showing full well the depth to which the human in her had been melted away-- Ikuri's hands closed around the girl's throat, squeezing tighter, clutching in defiance of the infection - she had to save her, had to. Without Ibuki, without her family-]
[Everyone would blame her. The Bastion would recognize her as the carrier, the one who brought the darkness here. The wolf who played at being human, who would later become the monster: she had to be killed for the good of everyone.]
[She cried for help, and people came with their weapons. Zuko looked at her with disgust and contempt, no longer recognizing her.]
**
[Ikuri's hands squeezed tighter, desperately.]
[The girl beneath her, the perfectly healthy human girl - tears flowing freely, screaming for help, screaming for her guardian Ippo...]
[No, no he can't come too soon. I have to save you first. I have to kill you so you won't see me like this, so you'll be safe from the arrows.]
[Ippo came...no, too late. Too late. You can't save us now; you'll have to kill us both. She looked up at him, pleading...but it was not Ippo who stood there. It was the engineer, looking back at her - staring in that way he did when he meant to hurt her, or when he wanted her to feel afraid.]
[Please help Ibuki. Ikuri said it, but there was no voice. She could not even move.]
[And his response...no, it's too late for Ibuki. You took her from us. Restitution must be paid.]
**
[But they didn't kill her. They did worse. They removed her fighting spirit, extracted it somehow- then they maimed her, an act of pure cruelty, twisting her arms until they were bent and useless things. Left her with only her legs, but bent those too, so she would have to crawl and couldn't run. Couldn't jump or climb.]
[And they put her back in the void.]
[We don't want you anymore. Return where you came from.]
[And she could only lay on her back, staring up at the terrible void that stared in turn, hoping her own tears would choke her before they came.]
[She know that hope was futile, too. Just the same as every hope she'd ever had. Ikuri was a lie: Shooter was who she was, and Shooter had nothing left in her but the horror. No fighter, no warrior, only a monster. The human in her, the poor poor human, nothing without her other, nothing without family or love--]
[The Bastion made her into an offering. A sacrifice to save themselves. There was nothing in her worth saving: they abandoned her with gladness, and watched as the monster came on, waiting for it to take revenge on their behalf.]
[Ikuri could only cry.]
[But nobody would lament with her. Nobody would mourn her. She would be forgotten.]
[She felt them now, closer.]
--
* * *
(( Scenario: Uncertainty))
[And then she awoke.]
(( BGM: The Bastion - Nightmares... [Baldur's Gate OST: Ruins of Ulcaster] ))
[...her grasp on reality remained tenuous for some time. The pitch dark of the room seemed to hide other threats, leering faces in the shadows...but she found the fighter in her, her focus, and tried her best to drive them away. Only her mind, only her eyes...she only thought she saw them...]
[Unwelcome indeed when they laughed and screamed instead of fading.]
[Ikuri scrambled to her feet, expecting the dark to lunge forward and take invitation - but it did not, and light filled the room. There was nothing in here but the furnishings: the bed she never slept in, the window she rarely opened...]
[It was all normal.]
[But she was still unable to bear remaining within her house.]
[Ikuri stumbles out her door in a daze, not bothering to close or lock it behind her. For that matter, she didn't even turn off her bedroom light.]
[No mind is even paid to where she's headed; her feet move, and she goes along with them. They might just take her toward you - wherever you are, whatever you're doing.]
[And it might disturb you to see that she walks with black blade unsheathed, semiconsciously braced to react to threat. The dullness of her eyes may make a slightly different suggestion of her awareness, though.]
[Will you disturb her?]
Open: [Y]
When: Day 333 [backdated] - Dusk
Where: Several places within the Bastion. Pick your location when you tag in: fresh from nightmare haze, she .
What: Nearly two weeks after the tragedy, Ikuri still gets nightmares.
Format: Action brackets because habits
Warnings:
-Jumpy, sloppy prose of purple, particularly as I'm slammin' this out before work.
-Sol Man is a dork who's terrible at this RP thing.
-Nightmares and body horror.
-Text wall.
Note: The Bastion's calming field will prevent assault and outright aggression, but odds are she's still going to be jumpy and jittery.
(( Preface ))
[She saw them again.]
[The faces of those long gone. People she'd known and loved...or perhaps, more properly to say, known and longed for; while the emotions of hers that reached for them and were touched by them could be somewhere close to love, she'd not the chance to truly know such a thing. But how she'd wanted it - how she craved it, even now! How dearly she wished that they weren't dead, that she could reach for them anew and pretend nothing that took them...]
[...could ever happen...]
(( BGM: The Bastion - Ikuri's Dread [Final Fantasy VII: Those Chosen by the Planet- [Shinra Mansion Version] ))
[And then she saw the black sky above her: the void that threatened to pull her from her feet and tear her away from the world, the hunger that she knew lay in wait. She felt the icy touch, the emptiness of bone, pressing against her skin and face: the one skeletal finger just a little close to her eye.]
[She saw Dead Master, now truly dead: on the outside, appearing as Ikuri had always known her, but in her eyes...in there, something that came from the void of the sky: kin and yet not kin. The Dead Master that was here, only barely held together: Black★Rock Shooter knew, because Master wanted her to know, that within the latter lay a mass of writhing worms - that she was infected, yet animate, and the parts of her that still feel, felt hatred towards Shooter (though it was a dull thing), for the events of their prior meeting - for being burned away into nothing.]
[What was left of her hated Shooter, hated her profoundly, for taking Yomi from her. She had wanted to human too, once - not any longer. Now there was only the void, controlling every action like a puppet and string, governed solely by hunger.]
[And then she pressed closer still, the flesh peeling away to reveal a skull.]
**
[...Crona.]
[The body riddled by arrows. Shooter moved to protect her, to shield her - but it was over. Dead before the instinct to protect had even beckoned.]
[She saw a broken body, saw the eyes looking blankly back at her. The skin peeled back of its own accord, slowly, revealing flesh - revealing what could only live again one other way. Crona's face became Dead Master's, smiling back.]
**
[And the vision came again and again.]
**
[The fifth time, the person in the clearing was Mato. Ikuri clenched her head, screaming in defiance, but Mato's voice came out of her.]
**
[No. No, no, no -- Mato wasn't there. Mato hadn't died here. Mato was...]
[...Mato had died in the Calamity. Zuko's words; all of the knowledge Ikuri had learned here, claiming that only certain of those amongst each world had been saved. Dead Master, Strength...Matagi...and Gold Saw. They were all truly gone. Now there was truly no hope of saving them.]
[You...are all that's left.]
[I am carried within you, and I will blossom.]
**
[...Ibuki's body, riddled with electricity. Ibuki, pierced by arrows, blood pouring freely from her mouth.]
[Ikuri jumped toward her dearest friend to save her. The black blade pierced her instead. It wasn't enough. She had to be saved.]
[Even as the flesh peeled back, even as the horror crawled from Ibuki's mouth, opening wider than it should, showing full well the depth to which the human in her had been melted away-- Ikuri's hands closed around the girl's throat, squeezing tighter, clutching in defiance of the infection - she had to save her, had to. Without Ibuki, without her family-]
[Everyone would blame her. The Bastion would recognize her as the carrier, the one who brought the darkness here. The wolf who played at being human, who would later become the monster: she had to be killed for the good of everyone.]
[She cried for help, and people came with their weapons. Zuko looked at her with disgust and contempt, no longer recognizing her.]
**
[Ikuri's hands squeezed tighter, desperately.]
[The girl beneath her, the perfectly healthy human girl - tears flowing freely, screaming for help, screaming for her guardian Ippo...]
[No, no he can't come too soon. I have to save you first. I have to kill you so you won't see me like this, so you'll be safe from the arrows.]
[Ippo came...no, too late. Too late. You can't save us now; you'll have to kill us both. She looked up at him, pleading...but it was not Ippo who stood there. It was the engineer, looking back at her - staring in that way he did when he meant to hurt her, or when he wanted her to feel afraid.]
[Please help Ibuki. Ikuri said it, but there was no voice. She could not even move.]
[And his response...no, it's too late for Ibuki. You took her from us. Restitution must be paid.]
**
[But they didn't kill her. They did worse. They removed her fighting spirit, extracted it somehow- then they maimed her, an act of pure cruelty, twisting her arms until they were bent and useless things. Left her with only her legs, but bent those too, so she would have to crawl and couldn't run. Couldn't jump or climb.]
[And they put her back in the void.]
[We don't want you anymore. Return where you came from.]
[And she could only lay on her back, staring up at the terrible void that stared in turn, hoping her own tears would choke her before they came.]
[She know that hope was futile, too. Just the same as every hope she'd ever had. Ikuri was a lie: Shooter was who she was, and Shooter had nothing left in her but the horror. No fighter, no warrior, only a monster. The human in her, the poor poor human, nothing without her other, nothing without family or love--]
[The Bastion made her into an offering. A sacrifice to save themselves. There was nothing in her worth saving: they abandoned her with gladness, and watched as the monster came on, waiting for it to take revenge on their behalf.]
[Ikuri could only cry.]
[But nobody would lament with her. Nobody would mourn her. She would be forgotten.]
[She felt them now, closer.]
--
* * *
(( Scenario: Uncertainty))
[And then she awoke.]
(( BGM: The Bastion - Nightmares... [Baldur's Gate OST: Ruins of Ulcaster] ))
[...her grasp on reality remained tenuous for some time. The pitch dark of the room seemed to hide other threats, leering faces in the shadows...but she found the fighter in her, her focus, and tried her best to drive them away. Only her mind, only her eyes...she only thought she saw them...]
[Unwelcome indeed when they laughed and screamed instead of fading.]
[Ikuri scrambled to her feet, expecting the dark to lunge forward and take invitation - but it did not, and light filled the room. There was nothing in here but the furnishings: the bed she never slept in, the window she rarely opened...]
[It was all normal.]
[But she was still unable to bear remaining within her house.]
[Ikuri stumbles out her door in a daze, not bothering to close or lock it behind her. For that matter, she didn't even turn off her bedroom light.]
[No mind is even paid to where she's headed; her feet move, and she goes along with them. They might just take her toward you - wherever you are, whatever you're doing.]
[And it might disturb you to see that she walks with black blade unsheathed, semiconsciously braced to react to threat. The dullness of her eyes may make a slightly different suggestion of her awareness, though.]
[Will you disturb her?]
no subject
[but this time to frantically kiss his wrist and palm. Gratitude, honor, even affection now.]
[And she hurries toward him, throwing her arms around him and hugging him tightly.]
no subject
Must'a said something right there, huh?
[He puts his arms around her in a hug when she embraces him, and he rubs her shoulder in what he hopes is a comforting gesture.]
It's okay, Ikuri. It's okay.
no subject
It seems to be a big thing with her, physical affection in general][There's some strong emotion in that hug, no doubt about it, but despite that - she's actually not falling apart for once. And when she speaks, her voice is firm.]
Won't give in. Will fight...become protector. Drive horrors away. Not just stronger, but smarter. Become wise.
[She hopes, but goshdarnit she's going to try. And there's a nod within the hug for emphasis:]
Teach. I will listen.
no subject
[He keeps right on rubbing her shoulder.]
I'll teach you anything you want to know, but fair warning... time is still an issue, I can only do so much at once.
[He smiles down at her, a welcoming expression. He's not the least bit afraid of her or cautious of her.
He still has plans in place to deal with her if necessary, but he's got that well-hidden.]I'll even see about finding some stuff you can enjoy to take your mind off hard stuff.
[Like... maybe a Disney movie?]
no subject
Teach control. Push nightmares away, keep from hurting others. Don't want lose focus-- keep focus, keep fury away. Make sure I stay myself.
[Talking with everyone this evening
(except maybe River?)had helped her realize the importance of this. If she was still slipping while fighting on her own, what she needed was help. The old way wasn't enough anymore.][It was time to adapt.]
no subject
All right. Here are two steps that will keep you focused.
One... when you fight. Call yourself Ikuri. Say it aloud if you have to. REMIND yourself of who you are, and what you want to be. Make it part of your focus. Say. Your. Name. Your identity is what you make it... make sure that you're calling yourself what you want to be.
And two... Remember Crona. Never forget Crona. When you fight... think of Crona. And what the fight should have been.
Your mind can be your worst enemy... but you can also make your worst enemy fight for you with practice. Got it?
As for the nightmares... Come get me when you want to sleep. I don't think you can fight the nightmares by yourself yet. But I can.
no subject
[...while fighting. Hold on to Ikuri while fighting.]
[But Ikuri is not who Ikuri fights with. When Ikuri fights, the entity that steps forward is Black★Rock Shooter; always has been, always should be. That is nature. And that too is choice, not mere helplessness. She doesn't want to be a slave to her nature, but neither does she want to cast away.]
[...Your identity is what you make it. What do you want to be?]
[I am Ikuri. And when battle calls, I am Black★Rock Shooter. I am what I need to be. The right weapon for the job.]
[...What do I want to be? - I want to be both of them. Both forms, both creatures. I can...perhaps combine the both of them, without letting either rule me. Don't forget: Ikuri has too much control from time to time, too- leading to acts more by impulse and nature than choice.]
[This isn't about nature versus nature. It isn't even strictly about choice versus nature. It is about choosing one's nature, from all available parts. That's what Colin means. Don't be dictated by whim. Whether you kill, you love, you flee or you fight; whether you talk...or simply hold someone silently. All choice, not just nature. All of it.]
[Thinking of Crona...that's much harder. And the difficulty lies in determining...exactly what her failure was during that fight. Defined by her, not Zuko or anyone else. She agrees with Zuko, of course: it would've been better if she'd taken care of the group. But Ikuri would have also preferred massacring every enemy involved in that attack, even if she gets the distinct feeling Zuko wouldn't have wanted that.]
[Zuko must choose what is right for Zuko. I must choose what is right for me.]
[And no matter how you look at it, she realizes: ultimately, her failure in that fight was allowing her rage to take control. It did not provide the best benefit it could have: not for her or anyone. She did not give either of her desired objectives the focus they needed.]
[Next time, she would.]
[Even if someone died again...as much as she recoils, as much as her heart moans and twists in misery looking upon the very idea: she must face that it can happen.]
[What if it's Ibuki? What if she dies?]
[...then I will die too. The shell will follow.]
[No immediate response. She's lost in her thoughts.]
no subject
[He's not expecting her to get it immediately. In the meantime, he'll just try and comfort her.]
no subject
[There's some reluctance, but she moves to pull away from the hug. It's a gentle motion.]
Learn soon. [But will you?] --I don't know. Will learn, will try.
no subject
[He lets her go, but he pats her hair once she pulls back just the same.]
We'll get you through it. I don't fail often.
[He gives her a smug little grin again.]
mine's a bit graceless, but the inspiration came quickly. :|b
No, [she admits.]
Defeated me. That's true.
[You could argue it was 'disabled' rather than defeated, but it had lasted much too long to be dismissed as a momentary disadvantage. She had not effectively kept him at bay and he could've easily exploited her condition; even as far as she's concerned, she'd lost that fight.]
[...and it's a very good thing, she understands with no small amount of relief. Had she proven the stronger that day, she wouldn't have hesitated to kill him. And the Bastion may well have deemed her an enemy for it. She would've lost her sanctuary, her entire community right from the start, before she'd ever come to know it.]
[Yes. She is quite glad it turned out so.]
[...Still such a strange thing, when she thinks about it. Her old self would've never imagined a day when she was glad not to triumph. But then her old self couldn't have imagined many things about the here and now...]
Colin's, meanwhile, is SMUG. AS. SHIT.
If it helps, you're not the first, and you won't be the last. I'm a sneaky little ass when it comes to saving my own skin.
[He gives her a wink then.]
Maybe I'll be able to teach you how to be a sneaky bastard once we've fixed everything else.
's what he does best, yeah? :|b [/2]
no subject
Not sure. Use against others, hurt them.
[She's not denying it would make her more effective. Nor is she failing to grasp Colin specifically saying that the self-control business would be worked out before we started approaching the idea of making her more deadly; reversing the order of the two wouldn't be wise right now.]
[It still leaves her somewhat uncomfortable; a feeling of distaste. His ways are his, and hers are hers. That said...her ways aren't perfect. And having skills other than her own could mean the difference between saving someone and watching them die. That alone sways the whole thing in his favor.]
Use when...when trouble. Big trouble.
[Straightforward combat with worthy opponents. Only break out the slitting knives when things are turning ugly and victory must be secured.]
[...and how can she be sure that the current problems will even be completely solved by the time she's picked up these skills? The engineer may be confident...but she, herself, is not.]
no subject
[What's this? Random tangent?]
Nobody could take them head-to-head. If a Bulrathi ship made landfall, a colony was basically lost to them. Humanity was put on the ropes by the Bulrathi in the great war.
It was the Darlok empire that brought the Bulrathi to heel. Not by direct combat, but by playing against their weaknesses. Manipulating them, sabotaging them, and turning them against their allies.
[He smiles then.]
Brute force is all well and good.... it just pays to know a little bit about trickery when the chips are down. All the strength in the world won't do you any good if you don't know where to direct it.
But that will come in time, if you want to learn. It's still a ways away.
no subject
When I can be trusted. Not while Ikuri s-still...afraid. Don't want to be best fighter. Want everyone safe, happy. Even if Ikuri dead.
Want stay dead, if happens. Stay asleep. Stay peace. No turmoil anymore.
...Umm- want strong myself. Only myself, now. Strong to control.