thebastion | Day 325 [Open]

Entry tags:

Day 325 [Open]

Who: Zuko, Colin, Ikuri, and anyone else!
Open: Open!
When: Day 325
Where: Around the Bastion, Dragonfield
What: Time for some Talks
Format: I'll match
Warnings: Honor. Also fury, and not much patience.

It's been a few days since the disaster of Crona's death. Zuko would like to think that that's given her time and distance to process it, but most of her feelings haven't changed much since their return. If anything, she's just forced herself to focus on other things, and avoid dealing with her grief, and her guilt. Not that she's realized it.

It probably doesn't help that she hasn't gotten a decent night's sleep since. But she's used to that, and if she's going to lose sleep, she can at least do it standing guard instead of tossing and turning. She's been taking regular shifts guarding the prisoners, and she's taken to carrying her swords with her within the Bastion, as a precaution not only against escape attempts, but any threat of outside attack as well.

And the swords are also for Colin. Once she's finished a guard shift, she'll be looking for him to take him up on his challenge, and also for Ikuri, for the talk she thinks she's clear-headed enough now to give.

[Later...]
Besides all that, she is still a dragon mom, and that's probably the only thing that's gotten her to settle down at all. Later in the day, she can be found near dragonfield attempting to teach Kizuna how to breathe fire. In addition to a short demonstration, this seems to involve lying down on the ground with the little dragon on her chest so she can feel Zuko's breathing.

So far it doesn't seem to be working, but neither of them appear discouraged. For Kizuna's part, it may be because she doesn't know she's supposed to be breathing fire.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I've ALSO saved the Bastion, the Ura, and our collective hides SEVERAL TIMES OVER.

Without me, all of you would be dead from the plague, that I and Jay stopped before anyone died.

Without me, the Ura would either be dead or invading us because of a food shortage that I foresaw, and planned to circumvent!

Without me, do you care to guess how many people would have died from injuries? From sickness? For the sake of the Gods, I'm an engineer, and I learned to be a doctor because WE DIDN'T HAVE ONE!

I've given us FOOD. I've given us a mental balm from the agony of the end of the world! I've given us a fall-back position in the worst case situation that we have to run because something went wrong!

I've seen problems and proactively addressed them and SAVED LIVES! You may not like me, child, but even you can't deny that! What have you done besides look for a girlfriend and give yourself a pet?!

But no. Because I've got a character flaw, you seem to think that I'm only ever looking down on you people. And you can't even see it in yourself.

And don't think I've forgotten, yes, you brought back the cure... But you wouldn't even have been able to WALK if I hadn't insisted on a quarantine. That each and every one of you complained about when I first set it up. And WHEN you came back from that, you brought Ahime back with you two steps from death's door! Because none of you thought to heed my warnings that there are traps everywhere!

Edited 2015-07-18 04:53 (UTC)

You talk about what we've done like it's an afterthought. It's never good enough, is it? We're not as smart as you. It's never as perfect as how you would've done it.

I have never denied that you have useful skills, but that doesn't make the rest of us less important! You're not the only person responsible for the fact that we're still here. We're all in this together!

At least, that's how it should be. You think it's some kind of flaw that I've been able to connect with people? That yes, I have a girlfriend? [There's an extra defiance to that because it's not something she's said very often.]

We all come here from different nations. No one's going to follow me because I'm the Fire Princess. They're only going to follow me if they know me and respect me and believe that I respect and care about them, too. If you think that's a waste of time then it's no wonder you don't have any friends of your own.

It IS an afterthought! It's not a question of what you can do, it's a question of the potential you're squandering!

Without the Bastion, there are FOUR people who would have survived.

Me. Paarthurnax. Crona. And Ragnarok.

Two of them are dead now. You're only mourning one of them. I think me and Paarthurnax are the only ones who even knew Ragnarok existed. Gods, is it any wonder that Ragnarok was such an ass?! Nobody gave him a fair shake, nobody treated him like a person!

And you're STILL doing that! You wanna complain about things not being good enough for me?! About me not thinking we're all in this together?! You look at Ikuri and you see a monster! You keep treating her like that, and she's only ever going to be a monster!

She probably hadn't SEEN another person that didn't try to kill her before she wound up here! She watched one of the only people who she'd been able to talk to die in front of her. Her life is VIOLENCE and she's terrified. And you're treating her like she's a liability instead of someone who needs help!

[He gives her an angry, accusing point.]

And you think that I'm doing what I do because I like it? Because I want you people to be less than me? I've got problems of my own you self-centered twit. I can't interact with polite society without having handlers. I can't understand people, no matter how hard I try! I am MENTALLY BROKEN and there's nobody here that can fix that! But I know that, and still I try!

Nobody will follow you because they don't trust you! Nobody will follow me because they don't trust me!

WE. ARE. FUCKED.

Because we can't get our acts together and LISTEN to each other!

Edited 2015-07-18 05:21 (UTC)

[Wow Colin you really don't know Zuko well enough if you think she would have died without the Bastion. She's not even going to dignify that with a response.]

You want to talk to me about Ikuri? I hadn't heard one word out of her mouth, and because of her I had to watch two more people die that day. I'd never... [seen anyone die like that before.]

She is a liability. Until someone can help her, she's dangerous. And I was planning on trying.

If you don't understand people, then stop acting like you do. Stop acting like you know what we think about each other or the potentials we're not living up to. I'm not going to listen to you if you don't accept me as I say I am. If you don't accept that this is the best I can do right now.

People try, and they fail. It doesn't mean they're not trying. It doesn't mean they're not listening.

And THAT is why you'll never be a good ruler. Because of her, your foes retreated. Because of her, you lost less than you would have. Because of HER, your allies are still alive and we're only mourning two people instead of more. Instead of maybe all of you.

You had to watch two more people die? Cry me a river. I've had to watch BILLIONS of people die. More people than you would even know EXISTED on your world.

They had you dead to rights. You walked STRAIGHT into a kill box. And you only got out because of dumb luck, a loose cannon, and two sacrifices that never should have been made.

Your best isn't good enough, Zuko. Your best needs to get better. Failure isn't an option any more. Failure means DEATH.

If you can't get that through your head, you don't deserve to be setting foot out of the safety of the Bastion. And you sure as anything don't deserve to be "leading" anyone.

They were already retreating.

[It's said under her breath, half a growl, because she's done arguing. Because she didn't see it coming, because Crona died on her watch, everything she did right that day doesn't matter? Colin wasn't even there, and he's trying to assign credit to a berserker who would have been more help if she'd listened to orders, and luck. It wasn't luck that got them through that situation, because they sure as hell hadn't had any. It was Rob and Megaera, Tobias and Mitellux. And herself.

He's like her father. Ignoring her efforts because they don't lead to perfection. Ignoring the fact that it's hard, and perfection is impossible for anyone, not just her. Even ignoring the fact that two people dying is a big deal, even if they're enemies, because the only path to victory doesn't have to be a violently bloody one. A hard heart doesn't make a good ruler.

It took her years to learn that she doesn't have to take this. No one has the right to tell her who she is or who she will be. Especially not someone who wasn't there, and won't acknowledge the efforts of her friends either.

Forget swords. Zuko brings her leg up and kicks a plume of fire directly at Colin. Because it's Zuko, the heat dissipates quickly enough that it's unlikely to burn, but the force of it would knock a normal person down.]

[See, here's the thing Zuko.]

[He knows a lot more than he's saying.]

[But right now, he just wants to hurt you. And he's going to give you every chance to try and hurt him. Because you've certainly earned it for dealing with him all these months.]

[But the key word there is "try".]

Are you so militarily inept that you don't know what a tactical retreat looks like?

[And here comes the kick. He simply shifts his weight into it, and he barely moves when she hits him. It's a good kick, there's no denying it. But the flames don't frighten him, and he's been raised with people who've taught him at least enough about combat to not die horribly, so he knows how to take a hit.]

Harder. That would have been enough to take out a squirt, maybe.

[To say he's expecting perfection is the truth. Normally, he doesn't care. The only place perfection is expected in his life is on the job. But he's buried too many people, watched too many people make mistakes, and too many people here don't realize just how much the rules have changed.]

[When the worlds were whole, when people could live life mostly carefree, he'd have left this alone. But now, everyone else's decisions have a miserably important effect on his own life expectancy.]

We STILL know nothing about who's coming after us. You wanna root for yourself? You wanna feel good about getting screwed? That's your call. But I'm not the only one judging people by an insane metric.

[As much as Zuko wants to hurt him, she... also really doesn't want to hurt him. Not in any lasting way. She'd hate herself for it.

Even with all his goading, her next fireball just goes flying past his face. He's just standing there, he's not even fighting back.]

You think I feel good about this? You think it's insane not to want anyone dead, on any side?

I don't want to see the world you come from.

I don't particularly want ANYONE to die. It's a waste of so many things, not the least of which is a good life that shouldn't have ended!

What will it take to get you to see that?! I haven't killed ANYONE except that damn lizard that ate me, and I had a lot of help on that one! Until last week, every single weapon I've built has been non-lethal except for two turrets and a couple of HE grenades that I don't plan to use except as a last resort!

[And the grenade launcher, but that guy went and got himself killed or lost.]

But if you want to fight back without killing someone, you need to get some intel on who you're fighting! Because I GUARANTEE you that they don't feel that way about us.

And for gods' sake, quit trying to scare me! You suck at it! Work out your damn aggression already! I didn't come here to drink tea!

I'm not trying to scare you, I want to settle this!

[If Colin was a firebender she would have challenged him to about 60 agni kais by now.]

I know we need to deal with these people! I know they're still out there and they could show up any day now and attack us or attack the Ura-- but we haven't gotten them to talk yet and I bet you'll call that my failure, too!

Don't be dense! The prisoners are probably one of the few things you did well! You don't get intel out of a prisoner in just a day or two. But there are other things we need to be doing that we're NOT.

We need to go back to the Ura, investigate the scene, find out more about the weapons they used and how they made them! Find out where they retreated to! Find out if the Ura saw anything suspicious in the days leading up to it!

We need to use our brains!

[He scowls.]

Why did I even tell you to bring the swords out here if you're not gonna use 'em? You need to get out your aggression just as much as I do!

Oh, thanks, at least I did one thing right according to you.

I'm not carrying these swords for you. As much as we hate each other, we're on the same side.

And this is a waste of my time.

I'm not exactly contributing to the good of the Bastion by being out here with you either, princess!

You think I want you to try and kill me? ... Let me rephrase. You think your swords CAN? Your swords might be the only thing you've got that could do any damage to me at all.

You're the one who thought it was essential to bring me out here and insult me.

... Are you trying to tell me you're fireproof?

I'm rated in fire-fighting, I know how to minimize the harm, and my natural instinct to be afraid of fire has been suppressed. So yes, for all intents and purposes, I am flame resistant.

And I brought you out here to try and get through to you and maybe let you work out some aggression. The insults are just a happy bonus.

[You know how that translates to Zuko? "I brought you here to convince you that you're a failure and I think it's hilarious."

She's just going to blast another fireball directly at his face and turn to walk back to the Skyway bridge without saying anything.]

[Ah, you bitch! He actually raises his arm to block that one, and he then spends the next few seconds putting out the fire and glaring after her.]

Reminds me of everything you told me about your father.

[He actually doesn't know hardly anything about her dad, but the anger? He's betting that will hit a mark.]

[That makes her entire body tense up and she whirls back around.]

Me? You're more like him than I'll ever be!

[She hopes that's true. She really, really does.]

[Bingo.]

Am I? Am I really?

All I've got to use against you is words, and the hope that you might actually see an opposing viewpoint.

You're the one throwing fireballs, and ignoring me because you don't like me. Well, and because I'm insulting you, but that's only new to today.

Tell me... just how far from the mark am I?

Far.

[She jabs a finger towards her scar.] You think this was the worst thing he did to me?

He made me believe I deserved it. He did that with words, by telling me every chance he got that I was weak, and worthless, and a failure. The things I cared about didn't mean anything and the things I did were never good enough.

For sixteen years, I believed him. Fuck you if you think I still should.

[Thanks for the curse words, Rin.]

Oh please.

Your father was a piece of rancid smegma on a flacid cock. As I recall, saying a variation of that's what pissed you off towards me in the first place. But since you want to get vulgar, listen here you pitiful stain on the frayed edge of the tapestry of your mother's honor.

[Don't start cursing at him unless you're prepared for it to come back at you, Zuko.]

If I wanted you to feel bad, I'd be trying to worm my way into your good graces, eroding your confidence with thinly veiled platitudes. You don't listen to a word I say, so trying to make you think you're worthless is a plan that's doomed to failure. People only care about what people think about them if it's people they LIKE.

I'd been hoping that I could get you to want to prove me wrong, show me up, but I missed that mark. Probably because I also wanted to hurt you for your callous treatment of your fellow survivors. Which, by the way, is closer to your father than you'll EVER admit to.

You're going to get more people killed, princess, because you're too proud to admit when you're wrong. I'm proud too, I won't argue that. But my pride is tempered with tolerance for different beliefs, and the knowledge that I shouldn't be leading anything but rebuilding efforts.

[Did you just insult her mother? DID YOU JUST DO THAT

Zuko's fists are balled up so tightly she's shaking, and smoke comes out of her nostrils when she exhales, but she's not going to give him the satisfaction of attacking him again. She's not going to do it.]

I don't need you to tell me when I'm wrong and I don't need you to tell me to do better. [She'll do that to herself plenty as it is. And he's absolutely wrong if he thinks he doesn't have the power to make her feel awful about herself just because she doesn't like him.]

Don't. speak to me. again.

[The thing is, she was willing to listen to him before. She tried to filter out the attitude because she knows he's smart and he has good ideas, but she just can't deal with it on this level. Every word out of his mouth tells her he has no respect for her.

Skyway bridge. That is where she's going.]

I would love NOTHING better than to live in a world where you and I never again had to interact.

That's not the world we live in.

[He's going to circle around her and get in her way. And yeah, the soot and smoke on his arm is one of those reasons why he didn't want to wear a shirt out here.]

You think I'm happy doing this? You think I LIKE insulting people? Let alone someone who SHOULD be one of our biggest assets?!

[Yes. Yes, she does think you like insulting people. Otherwise you'd stop doing it.

Zuko glances at his arm and proceeds to try walking around him.]

[Colin keeps walking backwards in front of her, pointedly staying in her way trying to figure out some possible way to reach her, but yeah, he lost this one.]

Fine. Then let's make two things clear and I'll leave you alone.

One, you stay out of my workshop. You cross the threshold, you're getting pasted to the wall and then bodily removed. That's your warning.

Two, you stay away from Ikuri. You've done ENOUGH damage there.

Day 325 [Open]

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