[He stops in his tracks because he has been completely and utterly floored by everything that Seimei has said. Not one part of it is incorrect; therefore none of it is contradictable. Ordinarily they would have attacked for the sake of attacking – you breached our defenses, we’ll breach yours - or argued back in an effort to bolster their own. It’s much easier for two people to talk one person into silence. But Kaoru’s not with Hikaru anymore, and he fears that any falsehood he attempts to construct will be quickly demolished with another arch of those eyebrows of Seimei’s.
Since arriving in this place, he has never wanted to be seen as weak, or in need of assistance. He’s sixteen, he’s not a child, nor is he the only one to have been thrown into this situation. All of them have. He is not special in any regard. And since throwing himself on the floor and tantrumming like a child until he is returned home is out of the question, he has had to turn his efforts to dealing with this.
He seems to be making a decent fist of it, or at least that’s how he hopes it seems. He hates the idea that he might cause people to worry about him... but in reality, it feels as though he is barely keeping his head above water.
Then there is the second issue of forming connections – any connections – in this place. He learned a long time ago that anyone outside of his close family could – would – hurt him, and he and Hikaru had wound up becoming the most bratty children and callous teenagers simply because they didn’t want to be hurt. Simply because they knew that the best prevention was to hurt Them first. Joining the host club had helped him grow out of that thinking, but the suspicion remained deep, and transformed into a fear of being left behind. Because although not all people have bad intentions, it still hurts when they leave. He’s dealing with that pain even now. And maybe that’s part of the reason he’s so worried about it. He doesn’t want to open himself up to that all over again. He’s scared of it.
All this and he has absolutely no idea what to say to Seimei in response to all that. He’s not sure how he’s supposed to react. So he swallows, and bows his head slightly.]
no subject
Since arriving in this place, he has never wanted to be seen as weak, or in need of assistance. He’s sixteen, he’s not a child, nor is he the only one to have been thrown into this situation. All of them have. He is not special in any regard. And since throwing himself on the floor and tantrumming like a child until he is returned home is out of the question, he has had to turn his efforts to dealing with this.
He seems to be making a decent fist of it, or at least that’s how he hopes it seems. He hates the idea that he might cause people to worry about him... but in reality, it feels as though he is barely keeping his head above water.
Then there is the second issue of forming connections – any connections – in this place. He learned a long time ago that anyone outside of his close family could – would – hurt him, and he and Hikaru had wound up becoming the most bratty children and callous teenagers simply because they didn’t want to be hurt. Simply because they knew that the best prevention was to hurt Them first. Joining the host club had helped him grow out of that thinking, but the suspicion remained deep, and transformed into a fear of being left behind. Because although not all people have bad intentions, it still hurts when they leave. He’s dealing with that pain even now. And maybe that’s part of the reason he’s so worried about it. He doesn’t want to open himself up to that all over again. He’s scared of it.
All this and he has absolutely no idea what to say to Seimei in response to all that. He’s not sure how he’s supposed to react. So he swallows, and bows his head slightly.]
I... I understand. Thank you, Seimei-san.