Day 165 - Out On The Town

[yinyangfox]

Who: Seimei, Taisan, You.
What: The Hitachiin-Abe Estate is too cold and lonely anymore and Seimei just wants to get away.
When: From "morning" until the "night".
Where: Everywhere!
Format: Prose.
Warnings: Open to all possibilities, but nothing so far?

Ever since Kaoru left the estate Seimei hadn't slept right. He had a lot of work on his hands - only because he'd given himself tasks to keep his hands and mind busy - and driven himself to exhaustion every night, but it didn't help. He hardly ate, he hardly slept, his frustration was spilling over into everything else and he'd begun to resent the home he built with others in mind. His shikigami's sour mood had hardly helped.

Between Taisan's temper and disobedience, his own disappointment in himself and the low moods of everyone in the Bastion what with the death of Night, it was virtually impossible for the onmyoji to recover his confidence, so he'd chosen to leave the house behind. Packing up all of the futons and closing all of the doors, the East wing was sealed off, everything left to Alucard.

A letter was left behind explaining the situation, that Seimei would probably leave for the Skyway later in the day but that he wanted to speak with the other resident of the estate before he did. He had something important to discuss of immediate relevance to Alucard and it would be best not to wait on the matter.

Seimei arrived at the entrance to her apartment, knocking lightly on the door. He came bearing gifts from his gardens as well as other places in the Bastion, a basket with the various fruits from his trees, smoked fish from the river, those beans from the vines everyone was so fond of and herbal tea that he'd mixed himself. He was nervous and uncomfortable, wearing his shoes inside of the building, but as with all things, he was trying to adjust to what other people found more normal. He didn't allow shoes in his own house, but it wasn't the same for everyone else. Anyways, visiting the half-demon was more important at that moment.

Seimei was available throughout the day, waffling over his decision to wander the Skyway and clear his head while other people are gone or staying there in the Bastion one more night. He could be found just about anywhere, visiting all the major areas and landmarks, obviously distracted and seeking answers to unasked questions. He doesn't seem terribly standoffish, so feel free to chat with him.

Comments

[hellpyre]

Rin was still recovering, but not so much that she needed to remain in the hospital more than a day. She had been back the morning after Night's passing, but hadn't been well enough (emotionally or physically) to return to work properly.

When the knock came, she had been sitting in front of a mirror in the bedroom, apartment empty save for her as Bon was continuing to help with the funeral arrangements, fingers prodding at the obvious scar running down the length of her shoulder. The damage had just been too much for her rapid healing to save her from it.

And she was left with a permanent reminder of what had happened.

The sound pulled her attention away, though, and she grabbed a sweatshirt to tug over her tanktop before shuffling barefoot to the door.

"... Seimei-san."

Well. This was a surprise.

[yinyangfox]

"Lady Rin," came the ever elegant - if stoic - reply. The onmyoji's dark eyes drifted slowly, giving the girl a meaningful look as if to say he knew things. He always knew things. He always understood, even if he didn't have much to say. Seimei was one person who handled most of the trouble and losses the Bastion suffered with a measure of grace - even particularly terrible things.

"I brought you things I thought you could use. There is herbal tea and bath oil as well as food..." he murmured, holding up the heavily laden basket with both hands, tilting his head slightly.

"I thought you might be locked up in your room; it seems to be your habit in harsh times, so I thought I might bring the necessities to you."

[fuckthemancers]

There's a very sweet and relaxing smell wafting from the Shrine, and soon enough Zulf is poking his head out. Spotting Seimei earns a slight smile and a wave. The Ura today is dressed in an entirely different manner than usual. It's more traditional wear from the Terminals, no vest today.

He seems to be doing a little better than before. One way or another, it seems he's earned some sleep, and he doesn't seem quite as worn down as before. Zia can be thanked for that. Still not quite talking, but... he's working on it.

[hellpyre]

"... it's not like I can work..." was all Rin said, but in a mutter that indicated even if she could, she wouldn't be going willingly after what happened.

She stepped back, pulling her hoodie tighter around her shoulders to hide the scar better. The door opened more with her movements, a silent invitation to enter the apartment.

"Thank you..."

[yinyangfox]

He almost missed the Ura, distracted as he was by his own thoughts. The small wave and bright colors were enough to draw dark eyes up and press the onmyoji into a returned smile and small nod.

After a moment of consideration, he folded his hands into his sleeves and headed towards the shrine, eyes drifting up curiously as nostrils flared, taking in the scent.

"It is good to see you are well!" Seimei remarked when within a distance that didn't require shouting to be heard. "Keeping busy, I see?"

[yinyangfox]

"No thanks are needed," he replied, looking down at his feet for a moment before stepping into the apartment, feeling particularly rude even as he did so. He wasn't precisely sure what to do now that he was there, having really only planned up to the point of turning over the basket. Social graces with women had never particularly been a strong point of his, he chastised himself.

"How are you? Physically, I mean. Considering previous incidents it is both foolish and unkind to ask about anything else. Everyone is hurting..." Everyone but him, it seemed, and he wondered about the wisdom in that. Was it better to separate oneself from everything, as he did, or was it better to share in the tragedies? Spreading the pain out seemed to make the wounds heal faster, but was it worth it?

"I know the hospital tends to a great many things and your own demon blood should handle the rest but..." he huffed a small sigh, pacing towards a place he could sit the basket to rummage through the contents. Eventually he withdrew a small clay pot, setting it down.

"More importantly, you're a lady. I don't know how it is in your time, but in my era, wounds on women were often life-shattering, so onmyoji were often called upon to make certain unguents like this one. Its good for the skin...I use it myself," he remarked, gesturing vaguely. "For scars. You would not know it to see me, but I've been quite grievously wounded several times. I did not have the proper things to make this in the past, but better late than never, as the saying goes. If you find it useful and to your liking, I can make more. It keeps the skin supple."

[fuckthemancers]

He gave a nod before reaching up. There's a charm hanging from his neck instead of dangling from the bracelet on his wrist- a little gear held on a thing bit of leather. He holds it up to show Seimei. Even if the man hasn't familiarized himself with the Pantheon of Caelondia and the Terminals just yet or can't remember the festival tales Zulf told, looking past Zulf's shoulder should be enough for him to see the shrine's own symbols. Micia's happens to be the gear.

The funeral is going to happen soon, after all. Zulf is just getting things ready.

[hellpyre]

Rin was barefoot given her current self exile from the rest of the Bastion, but if she was bothered at all by Seimei entering the way he did she didn't show it at all. Her attention had been turned to the interior of the apartment anyway, moving towards the kitchen with her tail hanging low over the waistband of her skirt.

She had intended to at least make some tea for him, since that was the common thing served to her whenever she went to visit him at his estate, but the questions made her stop. There was an uncomfortable hunch to her posture, and if the way she kept the sweatshirt tugged around her so tightly had been enough of an indication of just how she had fared, the way she rubbed at her shoulder was yet another hint.

"... exorcists are expected to come out with scars sometimes. Even... ones like me," she answered after a long pause, slowly turning around and pulling the cloth of her sweatshirt back away from her right shoulder.

It wasn't as bad as it could have been, but it wasn't as good as it could have been, either. She had taken more damage than her body had been able to repair at once, the jagged blade of the axe and the absolutely brutal way the Gasfella had brought it down on her nearly causing her to lose the limb completely.

The red of the scarred skin spread out like an exploding star from where the joints of arm and shoulder met, lines creeping beneath the thin strap of her tank top and working over the top going towards her back and shoulder blade.

Exorcists were expected to earn scars in their life time, but the ones that were reminders of friends lost were always the worst to carry.

[yinyangfox]

Seimei stood there in silent appraisal of the girl, expression unreadable. After a moment he sighed and opened the pot, dipping his fingers into the substance within. It was a pale yellow-green color and smelled of citrus without being acidic. Stepping forward and reaching out, holding his sleeve back as not to get anything on it, the onmyoji traced the scar, following Rin if she pulled away.

"It was bound to happen sooner or later. At least previous losses we could assume people were merely lost and might return. It was unrealistic to imagine we could live without tragedy," he remarked, tilting his head and smoothing the cool, numbing gel over the exposed skin. "Even our happy moments come at costs we cannot immediately quantify. The good we experience often multiplies the weight of the bad..." he trailed off, turning to close the pot, a finger tapping on the container briefly.

".....I am sorry for your loss, Lady Rin."

[hellpyre]

Rin didn't move away, or even flinch. There was no protest when he moved towards her and began to apply the gel, though his fingers on her could likely easily sense the faint tremble that had taken over her body in the days since her return home. It would go away in time, but for now it was the other lingering sign of just how much the situation weighed on her.

"It's just Ryuuji and I here now..." she said after some silence, "but I guess I should just be grateful I still have him when a lotta other people don't have anyone from their world."

[yinyangfox]

"Gratitude to the universe for happenstance rarely serves good purpose. Do not let your fear of loss prevent you from the cathartic release of mourning. The Gods understand when we are hurt and full of sorrow," the onmyoji remarked, smoothing more of the gel across the girl's skin before stepping back and rubbing the rest over his hands. Small wonder he was as pristine as a porcelain doll.

"I suppose we all should have seen things like this as a possibility. Life has not suddenly changed meaning or relevance. I think our minor successes have driven us to believe we are more hardy than we really are. In the end, we are still all mortal. The detritus of innumerable worlds washing up on one unfortunate shore. This loss..." he sighed, hands folding into his sleeves as he gazed off to the side.

"It highlights our precarious position and will no doubt cripple this tiny community. In hardship, we can only look to one another. That you have your friend....you should no stay in here, Lady Rin. If anything, I would suggest you both take comfort in one another. People here have a habit of isolating themselves in their grief. Hearts aren't meant to be isolate."

[hellpyre]

Rin nodded slowly, though in agreement or something else she did nothing to indicate. She tugged her sweatshirt back over her shoulder after he was done, resting a hang against the area gently. It was nice feeling, not to have it be so tender and sensitive to her touch.

"... what do I do? Out there? Before... before, when Dad died... I had a goal 'cause of it. I had a reason to keep goin' forward 'cause if I didn't I was as good as dead anyway. He saved me... why, I'll never know, but I wasn't gonna let that go to waste. Becomin' an exorcist, it was all I thought about after he died.

But Night... I know why she did what she did, but the way it happened..."

Sniffling, she looked up at Seimei, arms wrapped protectively around herself. She lacked so much of her former confidence like this, and it showed in every movement, every stance.

"I feel so lost. 'Keep moving forward', that's what I used to say all the time. But it doesn't feel right anymore."

[yinyangfox]

"I will not feed you useless platitudes, Lady Rin. I cannot tell you to move forward, but I will tell you not to stop moving. If you cannot continue to live, how would your friend feel? In times of grief we can no longer live for ourselves, and often that is for the best because we are at our weakest when we do nothing but for selfish reasons. I have had to learn this myself," he mused, frowning faintly at the girl before freeing his hands from his sleeves and pacing forward to loop one arm gently around her, pulling her head carefully against his chest and shoulder, the fabric of his robes cool.

He had never embraced anyone in such a manner before, but it seemed appropriate, and Seimei valued appropriateness more than most things. Besides that, he was learning a great deal from his time with Kaoru, and that included how to be a little more human.

"You can only live for the sake of others, Lady Rin. Your friend loved you, certainly. If you wrap yourself in your grief you will only make her hurt in the afterlife as she watches and wishes the best for you. She would not wish lingering sorrow in your days. Celebrate your friend, celebrate her life and honor her memory. When you're ready, go out and live because you need to show her that you are strong and you will keep her memory alive, and because there are those still with us who need you as well. You move on, because you want the souls of those lost to go on smiling and rest peacefully. They cannot move on if they do not see that we will be alright on our own. We carry on out of love, Lady Rin. It is all we can do."

[superdrowningskills]

It's early evening when Alucard finally gets around to tracking Seimei down. He's still wearing the hood he'd worn at Night's funeral; it hid the bandages well enough, and there isn't much point in advertising the state of his still healing face.

When he finds the other man, he doesn't say anything, waiting for the other man to explain himself.

[hellpyre]

Hugs weren't an uncommon thing for Rin anymore, especially recently, but getting one from Seimei was a bit of a surprise.

A good one, though, and it makes that uncomfortable, closed off stance of hers loosen and relax.

"I try to remember the good times with her, but when I sleep... all I can see is that same moment, over and over again..."

As much as she wanted to move forward again, lingering memories continued to turn in to terrible nightmares, only adding to how heavy and sorrowful she feels when she wakes up in the morning. It makes her all the more reluctant to step foot outside of her apartment and find her life in the Bastion again.

[yinyangfox]

Busying himself with numerous small tasks in preparation for his journey, Seimei hardly even realizes he's approached until Alucard is right on him, and even then it takes a while.

"Goodness, you might have said something!" he complained, turning, startled by the other's presence. He looked harried and disheveled - which wasn't saying much since if even a hair was out of place on the man he looked out of sorts.

"Mm, hm. My apologies. I have been...well, nevermind that. I imagine you're here in regards to the letter?" he asked, gesturing vaguely at nothing in particular.

"I'm going away for a while. I'm leaving the estate in your hands, along with my increasingly useless shikigami. If you have any interest it was my intention to teach you to conjure him. If I put enough distance between us and sever my command of him he should transfer to you. If you don't want the layabout, I am dismissing him from my service entirely and will not have him here any longer."

[yinyangfox]

"Would you like me to bring you something to help you sleep?" he asked, tilting his head to regard the girl as he leaned back and slowly released her.

"I can make certain you have a few nights of dreamless sleep. Anything more is unhealthy, but it should give you ample time to recover and sort out your feelings on your own. Meanwhile I have other tasks I need to attend. I have never been good with mourning and I regret that I never knew your friend enough to offer anyone solace on a personal level. My presence is not required here. There is no one who currently needs me, so I would be of better use seeing to the safety of the Skyway around the Bastion while people perform their parting rituals."

It irked him to a degree that a traditional Japanese funeral was not going to be the answer, but he understood the need for something "else" and felt the local customs were more...kind. That, and he had little wish to stay in his home, milling about without purpose.

"When I return I can make you more of the salve as well, if you need it. I promise it will help."

[hellpyre]

Rin frowned at that, fidgeting at the news that he was going to be leaving again. It unnerved her a little when he did that the first time, but now more than ever it set a deep seeded worry in to the pit of her stomach. After what happened to Night, was that really advisable?

He had put up enough evidence against her concerns last time, though, that she wasn't going to say anything.

"If you think it'll help me..."

To both things, not just the offer of the salve.

[individuates]

The light clatter of claws against the wood floor sometime mid-morning announced Tama-chan and Kaoru's presence - or at least their brief return for a few home comforts and clothes ahead of the funeral. Unencumbered by shoes, Tama-chan breezed happily through the house, winding a circuit through the rooms as if to check everything was as she left it.

Kaoru in the meantime sprawled backwards to lie on the wood floor where he had sat to remove his shoes. It wasn't that he didn't have places to go and things to do, but it wouldn't hurt to take a few moments just to enjoy that feeling of Being Home, would it? He had evidently just come from the hospital, if his bedhead and rumpled clothes were any indication.

[yinyangfox]

If Seimei were being honest with himself, he was using it as a means to run away from his problems, when before it was a way to find out what his problems even were. Before, however, the onmyoji had been in relatively good spirits and was fairly self-assured. Now? He didn't know anything more than anyone else did, his position in life no more comfortable than the rest. he, at least, was not dealing with the grief of death. His was an entirely different sort of loss.

"I believe it will. Good sleep is often the best cure for many things. If you cannot sleep, your body cannot recover from the pressures of pain and grief. You need rest, Lady Rin. If, when I return, you are still unwell, I can give you tea that will help you sleep restfully, though not as dreamless as what I will make for you before I go. Either way, use the salve. Even if it does not rid you of the scar, it will keep the skin supple and prevent loss of movement, which is more important than vanity," he remarked with a faint smile.

"To be fair, Lady Rin, sometimes it is our scars that make we more-than-humans who we are, and show to others that we are human enough to be loved as humans do. I might have been better served in life to let my wounds linger...they certainly markedly influence our humility, if nothing else."

[yinyangfox]

Silent as ever, Seimei approached, coming out from the kitchen to crouch at Kaoru's head, setting a filled cup of green tea beside him, freeing his hands to press cool palms to the boy's temples. Normally it would have been Taisan that did it, but the shikigami was conspicuously absent.

"Welcome home," the onmyoji murmured softly, looking down at the redhead with a complicated expression. He offered a smile, at least, fully visible with his hair pulled back in its old, severe style. He'd stopped doing it some time ago, but over the last few days had returned to doing so, for whatever reason. He had not yet donned his hat again, at least.

[individuates]

His eyes opened lazily to the whisper of fabric as Seimei knelt, tilting his head back into those soothing hands with a sigh. It was good to be back, albeit briefly. The sooner everything settled again, the better.

He reached up with a light pout, fingertips trailing through Seimei's pulled-back hair.

"You put it up again." There's no disapproval in his voice, he likes Seimei however he chooses to wear his hair. But he's never made any secret of which way he prefers.

[yinyangfox]

He considered a moment, eyes flicking slightly side to side as he gazed at Kaoru's face and into his eyes, memorizing the colors and the play of light on everything before turning away and taking the raised hand, lifting the teacup to press into it.

"I only took it down for you," he remarked, leaving it at that. He had no reason to be so casual or frivolous with no company to keep but his own. "Anyways, drink this. There is a bit in it to help with your energy - you have been running yourself a bit haggard lately," he mused, touching the boy's forehead before standing and folding his hands into his sleeves with a sigh.

"Have you eaten yet? I admit my talent in the kitchen is entirely nonexistant, but I have managed to stop burning things."

[individuates]

"Thank you," Kaoru hummed, flopping onto his stomach and from there to sit as Seimei stood, taking care not to slosh the tea around too much.

"...and I haven't been here much at all." He admitted apologetically, wrapping his hands around the cup as Tama-chan came trotting back into the hall, "All my running around hasn't exactly helped me with keeping up with things - even when I stop I don't feel like I've stoppped."

A sip of tea before he got to his feet properly, moving toward Seimei to slip an arm around his waist. "...I'd be happy with anything. Not-burnt is better, but I honestly don't mind either way..."

[yinyangfox]

He was suddenly overcome with uncharacteristic shyness when the arm looped around his waist, and he attributed it to his own guilt over everything, reaching up and trailing his hand over Kaoru's hair gently before nodding and sliding away. He had, if nothing else, mastered tofu. It only made sense when it was one of his favorite things and he had been left to fend for himself recently.

"Well, you are here now, so why not go and bathe and change, and I'll bring food around wherever you decide to relax. Unless of course you're only here long enough to pick things up," he amended, pausing on his way to the kitchen and looking at the far wall, expressionless.

"I can make something for you to take with you, if that is the case."