Narrowing dark eyes and looking away over the garden, Seimei tapped his fingers lightly on his legs after situating himself not facing the Ura. He might have wished for more tea, but felt rude drinking so much while Zulf took so little.

"I am in the way," he stated after a long bout of quiet thought. "I want to do what is right...for Kaoru," he admitted, sighing long and deeply, lacing his fingers together to keep his hands still.

"His feelings, his life. He is all sunshine and I feel sometimes that I do little more than cast shadows everywhere he seeks to have light. I will never be the summer bird that he is, never so energetic and full of enthusiasm for things. Others are more appropriately suited to this but neither do I wish to have my life bereft of the light and joy he graces it with. But I believe myself to be impeding him and keeping him from things that matter infinitely more. I do not know what to do, and I admit I am a selfish man, Lord Zulf. It takes very much not to be, for someone like me."